Once
by SometimeAfterMidnight
Summary: "The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed." He's ready to give up on just about everything...until he meets a girl who makes him remember and helps him believe. AU Finchel. Based on the movie/musical of the same name.
1. Chapter 1: Leave

_a/n - Hello everyone! I actually was pretty content to leave the world of Glee fan fiction behind…but then I got bit by a plot bunny. So here I am! About a month ago I went to see 'Once' on Broadway and it inspired me in more reasons than I can say. As I was listening to the cast album and thinking about the story I couldn't help but realize how easily it would lend itself to an interesting, non-traditional Finchel fanfic._

_So now I ask you to suspend reality with me as I venture into my first attempt at AU. The title of each chapter comes from a song on the soundtrack if you would like something to set the mood while you read. I hope everyone enjoys and I'm quite curious to hear what you think._

_Of course neither Glee or Once belong to me. This is purely for entertainment._

* * *

Chapter 1 - Leave

He stared out into the dark, starkly occupied room from his place on the stage. His guitar felt heavy as it hung from his shoulder and he let his fingers trail up the frets to twist the tuning pegs into place. He played a single chord and sighed against the microphone.

His eyes floated around the room. There were a handful a people sitting at the bar chatting amongst themselves and downing shots of cheap liquor. Two of the small cocktail tables were occupied, one by a pair of girls puffing on cigarettes and blowing wispy lines of smoke into the air, the other by a couple, the woman leaned into the man, her lips against his neck.

This is what his life had come to - a single microphone in a dirty dive bar. It kind of sucked.

Without an introduction he began to play his song. His fingers began to pluck out the lazy melody against the strings and an he leaned in to sing the lyrics that burned as they left his lips. Trying his best to not focus on the raw emotion his words revived, he closed his eyes and concentrated on his fingers as they plucked the guitar gently.

He played on autopilot for awhile, the song so familiar that he really didn't have to think about what he was singing or what chord he was strumming. The music flowed effortlessly and as he reached the emotional climax of the song his voice began to soar naturally and the sentiment caught in his throat. He scrunched his eyes together tightly, trying to fight away the pain in his chest. His voice cracked slightly as it slid into his higher register but he ignored it and continued to play, belting out the notes with every last bit of passion he had left.

He pulled back from the microphone slightly, leaving his fingers and the guitar as the only music. The pace of the song began to slow and he finally let his eyes slit open. Trying his best to control himself, he shook his head, sniffed slightly, and silently willed the approaching tears to stay put. The last thing he was going to do was completely lose it during one of his performances.

He played the final note of the song and instantly the room was filled with silence. He looked up to study the meager audience of the bar but they paid him no attention. The few people at the bar toasted their shot glasses together and drowned them in unison. The girls sitting at one of the tables each lit a new cigarette and leaned in towards each other to continue their conversation. The couple, who has already been affectionate, were now engaged in a full blown make out session.

He sighed and walked off the side of the stage. There was no use in waiting for applause or recognition that wasn't going to come. He climbed down the short flight of stairs that lead back into the bar while lifting his guitar from his shoulder. He admired the shiny mahogany of the instrument and appreciated the weight in his hand one final time. He had always planned on this being his final performance and after his reception (or lack their of) he couldn't help but feel like his decision had been justified.

He once loved music. It has been a part of him since high school and had been the major influence in his life since then. Because of it's prominent role it also held more painful memories than he could deal with and if he had any hope of moving on with his life then music would have to become only a memory. He could no longer sing the lyrics he'd written or the melodies he'd composed without thinking of _her_ and he just couldn't do that to himself any longer.

He laid the guitar into it's velvet-lined case and with one final glance lowered the lid and latched it shut. He pulled his heavy wool coat onto his arms and covered his dark hair with a skull cap, preparing to fend off the brisk January night. He pulled the case from the table and walked as quickly through the bar as he could. He was preparing to reach for the handle on the door when someone swiftly stepped in front of him.

"You're only playing one song tonight?"

He looked down towards where the voice was coming from and was greeted by two big, brown eyes gazing up at him curiously. It was a girl, well a woman actually, who he hadn't noticed from his place on the stage. She had dark hair that was braided over one of her shoulders and was wearing a dark red coat and had fluffy white earmuffs around her neck, waiting to protect her from the weather.

She tilted her head to one side and continued to stare at him, a slight look of frustration playing on her features. "I don't get out much but don't sets usually consist of more than just one song?"

He felt his mouth open and shut a few times without any words coming out. He shook his hands to regain his composure and shook his head at her. "I'm sorry, what?"

She huffed at him slightly. "Ok. Let's try this for the third time. You played one song, ran off the stage, and now here you are. I liked your song. I was hoping to hear you play more."

"Thanks, but I won't be playing anymore."

Before their conversation could continue he stepped around her, pushed the door open, and stepped out into the night. He walked along the sidewalk for a minute before he heard the door open again and the sound of footsteps behind him.

"Well when are you playing next? I'd like to hear you sing again."

He stopped walking and turned around. The woman was standing right behind him, still staring up at him expectantly. He didn't get it. It was unusual to get any sort of response to his music so hearing something positive was nice, but it didn't change the way he felt. But he had to wonder why now? Why now when he was preparing to say goodbye to that part of his life?

"Well you can't. I'm done with music. I'm not singing anymore."

He turned and walked away from her quickly. He turned into the alley beside the bar and walked the few steps towards the large dumpster that sat there. He hoisted his guitar onto the dumpster and before he could change his mind walked away as fast as he could. He turned back onto the street and walked the opposite direction of the bar. When he felt like he had put a proper distance between himself and the discarded guitar he sank onto a bench alongside the deserted main street.

He was overcome with a multitude of thoughts…everything from his abandoned instrument to the interest the girl had expressed to _her_, the reason all of this was happening in the first place. He had just placed his head into his hands, willing away the thoughts, when he heard footsteps again. Before he could even think about what he was doing he looked up.

The girl was walking towards him, struggling to carry his guitar case. _His guitar case?_ What he hell was she doing? With a slight roll of his eyes he stood up, prepared to run home if he had to.

"Wait!"

For some reason he chose to listen. He turned around, threw his head back and his arms out. "What? What do you want from me?"

The girl dragged the guitar case the last final feet and dropped it on the ground next to the bench. She sat down and then looked up at him again.

"You can't stop playing," she said simply.

"Excuse me?"

She looked pointedly at the guitar and then back up at him. "Do you have a hearing problem? I sure have had to repeat myself a lot in these past couple minutes." She composed herself and continued. "I said, you can't stop playing."

He continued to stare at her. What did she want? What was her angle?

"Your words," she continued, "your music. It means something. Please, please don't stop playing."

He glared at her, the innocence she was projecting beginning to grate on him. Who the hell did she think she was? She had no idea what she was even talking about and here she was, trying to convince him to continue doing something she had no idea about. So she liked the type of music he played and maybe related to the words he sang…she still didn't understand. She couldn't.

"You know, I don't know who the hell you think you are, but you don't know anything about my music or anything about why I'm not going to play anymore so I would appreciate it if you would just put the guitar back where you found it and then leave me alone."

"My name is Rachel. Rachel Berry." What the hell? Had she not heard anything he'd just said? Maybe she was the one with the hearing problem. "I'm a musician, too, and as one musician to another I always like to give praise when it's due…which trust me, isn't very often. I'm sorry if I overstepped by boundaries but I don't like to see anyone give up something they so obviously love without making sure they realize how talented they actually are. I should know…I'm very talented too."

He stared at this odd, outspoken woman who sat on the bench next to where he stood and thought about what she had said. It was nice that she thought he was talented but did that really mean anything at all when the passion he'd once felt had been replaced only with sorrow? He couldn't continue to do something that only brought him misery and unfortunately that's exactly what music had become.

He sank onto the bench next to her as snow began to fall from the night sky.

"Your song…the one you just sang…what was it about?"

He glanced at Rachel, noticing the way the snowflakes were settling against her dark hair and eyelashes. She looked to be around his age and while she was quite pretty, there was also a certain sadness to her. He guessed he wasn't the only one with a story.

"Betrayal," he said bitterly. "Sadness. Disgust."

Rachel bobbed her head amiably. "Is she why you don't want to play anymore?"

God, who was this girl? How was she dissecting him so easily? Was he really that easy to read?

She continued to speak. "It's kind of hard to continue doing something when the one person you don't want to think about is the only thing you can think about when you're doing it." She glanced up at him again. "Isn't it?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

The snow continued to fall harder as they sat side by side on the bench with the guitar case at their feet. Neither one of them said anything for a long time. He sat there thinking about what she had said. He thought about the music and how proud he was of the calluses that had formed on his fingertips from hours of playing. They were like battle wounds to him, proof of his dedication. But thinking about the guitar only made him think about the countless songs he'd written…the ones that were about _her_. The image of _her_ wrapped in his best friends arms flashed in his memory and he shut his eyes. The pain was just too strong. Even thinking about it made his stomach lurch.

"That song, well all of my songs, are about my ex-girlfriend." Why was he confessing this? To a complete stranger? But still…he never talked about it and after six months of being left with only his thoughts it felt refreshing to actually say something about it out loud. "I caught her cheating on me and before I really even understood what was going on she had moved to New York. After being together for six years she disappeared overnight. And it was over, just like that."

Rachel leaned back against the bench. "Ouch."

"She always inspired my music…everything about it. I can't sing any my songs now without her face flooding my mind and I just can't do it anymore. It's too much."

Rachel laced her gloved hands together and looked up at him. "Well I understand. I'm sorry I bothered you so much about your music I just haven't ever heard someone sing like that before, well except for myself. It's too bad that you won't be able to share your talents with more people. You really do have a gift."

For some reason he found himself giving her one of his lazy half smiles. "Thank you, Rachel."

She smiled back at him and brushed off the snow that was gathering on her jacket. "Well, what are you going to do now? If you're not playing your music what will you do?"

"I work in an auto-repair shop with my step-father. It's not much but it pays the bills."

As soon as he had spoken the words a giant grin spread across Rachel's face. "Really?"

He was confused. Usually when he told someone he worked as a mechanic they were disappointed, obviously expecting him to say something more glamorous. He supposed it was because he was a golden boy of sorts in high school and everyone had always expected him to do something spectacular with his life. But reality doesn't often live up to expectations. But Rachel was different. She looked up at him like he had just given her a million dollars.

"Um, yeah, Hummel Tire and Lube. It's over on State Street."

She grasped her hands together and smiled at him, her eyes wide and practically sparkling. "It's almost like I was meant to meet you tonight. I just so happen to have a car that desperately needs to be looked it. Do you think you could fit me in in the morning? I'm sure it's not anything serious but I've been putting it off for a long time and I'll feel so much better if I know it's safe."

Really? Ten minutes ago she had been pestering him about his music and his supposed talent and now she was just _thrilled_ that he happened to be a mechanic? And of course she conveniently had a car that was in some state of disrepair. Rachel Berry seemed like a nice enough girl but she also seemed to possess at least a slight amount of crazy and he wasn't sure he wanted to invite that into his step-father's shop. But then he looked at her and her face was lit up like a Christmas tree. She was looking at him like she was expecting everything and nothing at the same time. It had been a long time since anyone had looked at him like that and before he could stop himself he found himself agreeing.

"I can squeeze you in but you have to be there at nine a.m.. Is that ok?"

Rachel clapped her hands excitedly and bounced slightly on the bench. "Oh yes that's perfect. Thank you so much…wait…I don't think you ever told me your name."

Realizing he had been rude he extended his hand towards her. Her gloved hand wrapped around his and he looked down at their grasp and then back at her face. "Finn. Finn Hudson."

"Well, Finn Hudson, I thank you very much for your generosity. I really appreciate you fitting me in."

He pulled his skull cap down over his ears. "Yeah, don't mention it." He awkwardly shuffled his boots against the snow covered sidewalk and then shoved his hands into his pockets. "Well I better go, I guess I'll see you in the morning." He stood up quickly and hurried down the sidewalk. He needed to get away from Rachel Berry before she found out anything else about his personal life. The way she'd reacted so far made him think she might break into convulsions if she found out he used a red toothbrush. And there was no way he could handle one more look of adoration.

"Bye, Finn!" She hollered after him. "See you at nine!"

He turned onto one of the side streets and disappeared into the night. He wanted to get as far away from Rachel as possible before she realized that he'd left the guitar she'd dragged from the dumpster sitting by the bench. He would look at her car in the morning but that was it. He was still done with music.

* * *

Rachel sat on the bench and watched as Finn Hudson hurried away from her. She knew she had been out-of-line and should have left him alone the minute he told her that he wasn't going to be playing his music any longer, but she just couldn't. At first her interest had been merely about the music but now it was about the man. He was running from something, from someone, and of course cutting the link to his pain seemed like the most logical solution. Rachel knew first hand that it was never that simple.

As the perfect white flakes floated down and landed against the jacket she had just brushed off, she looked down at the sidewalk and realized that Finn hadn't taken his guitar with him. She thought that if he'd seen it again he would've recognized how hasty his decision was, but she rationalized that convincing him to continue playing was going to be harder than she thought. As it turns out there was actually a person in the universe who was more stubborn than she was.

She stood up and pulled the guitar case into her hand. She dragged it behind her slightly as her footsteps interrupted the perfect blanket of snow against the sidewalk. She wished she had more of a plan in mind when it came to how she was going to convince Finn that he needed to share his music, but she really had no idea what she was supposed to do. Hearing him sing, hearing his words, had ignited something inside of her and she knew without a shadow of a doubt that people needed to know what he had to say.

As the thoughts swirled around in her mind she kept focusing on one underlying truth…

She couldn't let him give up like she had.


	2. Chapter 2: The North Strand

a/n: Thank you so much for the reviews, alerts, and favorites! All your encouragement means the world to me! Also, I really don't know anything about cars, car parts, auto body shops, etc. Please take everything with a grain of salt.

Of course neither Glee or Once belong to me. This is purely for entertainment.

* * *

Chapter 2 - The North Strand

Finn hadn't slept well that night.

He'd spent a long time just laying there, his mind flooded with memories of _her_ mixed in with Rachel's kind smile and encouraging words. He wasn't quite sure why his image of Rachel was so positive; he should be focusing on how she was annoying and rude and presumptive. But instead all he could think about was her saying that his music mattered. He'd played his songs in more bars than he could remember and usually received positive, if not slightly neutral, feedback, but never before had anyone said his music mattered.

When he finally accepted that sleep wasn't going to come he climbed out of bed and headed for the shower. He cleaned himself up quickly and choked down a bowl of cereal before descending the stairs into the garage. Sure, living above his step-father's business wasn't one of his proudest feats but after _she_ had pretty much left him completely screwed he really didn't have any other choice. If nothing else at least the commute was convenient.

His step-father, Burt Hummel, was already laying on a dolly, his upper body hidden by a rusty Ford Taurus. "That you, Finn?"

Finn walked lazily around the garage before picking up their appointment book and seeing what was on schedule for the day. "Yeah. Morning."

The line-up of appointments was rather typical; he had an oil change at 8:30 and then had to replace snow tires at 10:30. He was glad he had told Rachel to come in at nine. Unless she had some sort of major problem he wouldn't have an issue fitting her in before Sue Sylvester came by with her ancient Le Car and he knew better than to keep crabby Ms. Sylvester waiting.

The morning dragged on at a snail's pace. Mr. Pierce showed up right on time with his Chrysler for his scheduled oil change and rattled on the entire time about how nice of a girl his daughter, Brittany, was and whether or not Finn was single. He tried to remain as cordial as possible; the Pierce's brought a lot of business to the garage (they seemed to make a lot of silly mistakes - water in the gas tank, oil where the windshield wiper fluid should be, that kind of stuff) so he would've felt bad if he'd done anything to detract business.

Truthfully he wasn't anywhere near ready to date...not Brittany, not anybody. Everything still felt so raw.

He had just closed the hood on Mr. Pierce's car when there was screech on the street outside followed by the familiar moans of a very labored engine. Finn quickly asked Burt if he wouldn't mind ringing up the oil change while he investigated the commotion. Without really thinking about it, his feet moved him towards the driveway, towards where he knew Rachel was waiting.

He stood in the driveway for a long moment, studying the sight before him. Rachel was seated behind the wheel of an Oldsmobile that looked like it had seen much better days. The wheel wells were rusted and there was an unmistakable groan coming from the engine. She was so tiny that she was barely able to peer over the dashboard; he had no idea how she could see well enough to drive, let alone reach the pedals.

She chose that moment to look up and when she noticed that he had come out to the driveway her face lit up with the same bright smile it had the night before. She waved at him excitedly and quickly turned off the car. The door gave a long creak of protest as she pushed it open and then let it slam shut on its own accord. She hurried to his side and continued to grin up at him. She was wearing the same coat she'd been wearing the night before, along with dark tights and worn, yet solid knee-high boots. Her raven hair was in loose waves around her shoulders and she was no longer wearing her earmuffs like a necklace.

"Good morning, Finn," she said enthusiastically. "You have no idea how much I appreciate the opportunity to bring my car by on such short notice. I'm so fortunate to have met you last night!"

He nodded and shoved his hands into the pockets of his Carhartt hoodie, his best attempt at fighting off the bitter Ohio January. "It's fine, we just have to keep it quick. So what seems to be the problem?"

What happened then was something Finn had never experienced before. It was always difficult to get an accurate description about an issue with a car when the person who was having the problems had exactly zero knowledge of cars whatsoever. Rachel was no exception (if that hadn't already been evident). She hopped back and forth animatedly, describing in explicit detail the laundry list of problems with her vehicle. He tried to remain as serious as possible but came very close to completely losing it when she started making dramatic noises in the back of her throat that she swore up and down sounded just like her ailing engine.

"And then it popped _three_ times." Rachel puffed her cheeks out and then plucked the side of her mouth to mimic the sound.

By this point Finn could feel the laughter bubbling up in his chest. His hand now rested against his mouth, trying his best to suppress a laugh. He had never tried so hard not to laugh in his life. He didn't want to insult her – it was obvious how serious she thought this was.

He was also starting to think that maybe she was kind of adorable but he quickly pushed that feeling aside.

"Rachel," he began, "Why don't I pull the car into the garage and get it up on a lift so I can take a better look? You can get something to drink and relax while I see what we're dealing with."

There she went with that smile again. Without warning she leaned into him, giving him an uncomfortable half-hug around one of his arms. "Thank you so much, Finn."

He stood there awkwardly and watched her saunter off into the shop. She was the strangest girl he'd ever met.

He was just about to climb into the car so he could move it into the garage when her shrill voice stopped him dead in his tracks.

"Finn! Finn, wait!"

He sighed. "What is it, Rachel?"

She hurried back towards the car and then leaned into the open drivers side to locate the lever that would pop the truck, which she quickly did. She skipped to the back of the car and when she slammed the truck shut she walked back towards the garage carrying his guitar case.

"Oh no. Hell no. What do you think you're doing?"

She stopped walking and set the case on the ground. "I couldn't just leave the guitar sitting there last night. If you're really going to throw it out could you please wait to do it until I leave? It's just too painful for me to witness."

He really wasn't sure why him throwing his guitar out was painful for her, but he didn't see the point in arguing with her. "Fine. Just go inside and get some coffee or something."

He let out one final huff and slid into the drivers seat. He hoped this wouldn't take too long.

* * *

Rachel traipsed off in the direction of the small sitting area that was set up in the far back corner of the garage. There were eight folding chairs arranged in an 'L' shape and a rolling cart with a coffee pot and a few cups that sat in the apex. She helped herself to a cup of what she imagined was stale, awful, coffee and then nestled onto one of the lightly padded seats. She dropped the guitar case at the base of the chair and rested her feet against it, tapping out a random rhythm against the hard plastic.

For a few minutes she sat there quietly and watched Finn Hudson work on her car. He was honestly unlike any other person she'd even known. She'd always thought she was the only person on the planet who just radiated unbridled passion but clearly she'd been mistaken.

He might not have been willing to admit it, but the mere existence of Finn was musical. She watched as he lowered the car on the hydraulics, popped the hood, and propped it open. As he did so he drummed his fingers against the thin metal, keeping time with a song only he could hear. He tapped his toes against the concrete floor and she was pretty sure she could hear at least the trace of a hum.

"Hey Rachel?"

She snapped out of her momentary trance at the sound of his voice. She put her coffee down on a table that was covered with magazine and stood up to walk over to her car. She couldn't help but shake her head…even him saying her name sounded like music.

"Did you find the problem, Finn? Is it something serious? I can I still drive my car?" She hoped with every fiber of her being she could…a new car was not currently in the budget.

He wiped his hands on a towel and draped it over his shoulder. "Yeah…it's only your timing belt. Come here."

She took a few hesitant steps towards him and leaned over to look into the engine. He pointed towards a grease covered piece of metal and she almost gagged as he stuck his hand right into the mess. Wasn't he afraid he would burn himself? Or worse…what if he somehow got his whole hand trapped down there? The possibilities were frightening.

She kept her hands tightly clutched against her chest as she looked where he pointed and hoped that she didn't come off as completely ignorant. Even though she pretty much knew nothing about cars she was smart enough to know that no car should be making the sounds hers was. His explanations blurred into the background as she shifted her eyes away from the car and tried her best to glance at him as stealthily as she could.

She watched the way his eyebrows slightly wiggled as he spoke about the car. He obviously knew what he was doing when it came to mechanics, but she couldn't help but notice that there was an unmistakable sadness that radiated from his being. His eyes were a rich amber color but they were dull and uninterested. She noticed that he would only look at her for the briefest amount of time before he looked elsewhere.

Rachel knew very little about Finn Hudson but she couldn't help it but feel intrigued. The man that stood next to her, trying to explain the difference between a head gasket and an oil filter, was a shell of himself…that much was obvious. She'd been completely mesmerized when she'd watched him on that stage the night before. Sure he'd been a mess while he had sung that heartbreaking song but at least he'd been conscious enough to feel _something_. The man next to her didn't seem to feel much of anything.

But she could fix that.

* * *

He knew he was rambling.

He could tell that she was watching him and he could feel her eyes on him and it made him nervous. He didn't like the way her stare felt like it was burning a hole on the side of his face. He had gotten to the point where he was talking about things that had nothing to do with her piece of crap car at all.

"That all sounds really serious. Can you fix it?" She interrupted.

Finn shut the hood of the car with a thud. "I already did."

Rachel clapped her hands excitedly and when he allowed himself to quickly glance at her he noticed that she was smiling at him like that again. She needed to stop it. It was grating and made him feel even more uncomfortable than he already was.

"Oh, Finn. Thank you so much. You have no idea how much this means to me."

He pulled the rag from his shoulder and wiped his hands again. "Not a problem."

He left her standing by the car and quickly walked over towards the cash register to write up her receipt. If he could just get her to pay then she could be on her way and then he would never have to see her again. That sounded perfect.

He picked up the pad and silently wrote up her receipt. For some reason he was feeling generous that morning and gave her a sizeable discount, really only charging her for the price of the part. He figured she was more likely to go away that way. He ripped the receipt from the carbon pad he was holding and held it out to her.

"Thank you for your business," he said in his most monotone voice.

She didn't take the paper from his hand. His gaze traveled from his outstretched arm all the way up her body to settle against her face. Her lips were sucked into her mouth and her eyes shifted back and forth nervously. _Shit_. He knew exactly what that look meant.

"Don't even say it," he warned.

Rachel gritted her teeth and scuffed her boot against the concrete garage floor. "I don't have the money, Finn," she whispered.

For a moment he felt bad. It was obvious she was embarrassed by the situation. But then he stopped himself. Why did he care if she was embarrassed or not? He had a business and he performed a service. He deserved to be paid for it. He didn't care what her situation was or if she was humiliated. She'd tricked him and he didn't like that at all.

But what were his options? She couldn't afford it, she'd already admitted that. What was he supposed to do? Have her hang around and do odd jobs to pay off her debt? Having her at the garage all day was the last thing he wanted. He sighed. The part was only $35. He would just have to write it off and hope that Burt didn't notice.

"You know what, just forget it. Go. Have a good day."

He didn't even want to stand there and watch her reaction. He ripped up the receipt in his hands and let the pieces float into the garbage can. He slung his rag back over his shoulder and walked back towards the office. He was going to relax before Ms. Sylvester showed up. Rachel had already drained most of his patience and he knew he would need some sort of divine intervention if he was going to make it through the rest of his morning.

Finn had just slumped against the torn vinyl couch in the office when he heard a small knock on the door. He laid his head back against the couch and prayed that he'd just been hearing things. He couldn't deal with any of this anymore.

"Finn! Finn, I know you're in there. I watched you close the door! Can you please let me in? You didn't let me finish!"

He didn't know what she wanted. He'd given her an appointment when she'd asked. He'd fixed the problem with her engine. He'd torn up the receipt in her face and told her she didn't have to pay. What else was left?

But he could hear the distress in her voice and it made him feel guilty to just sit there and ignore her. With an unbelievably heavy sigh he stood up and swung the door open. Rachel stood before him, holding his guitar case in her hands.

"What?"

"You didn't let me finish." She smiled softly at him.

"After you said you couldn't afford it I chose to stop listening."

"I said I didn't have the money to pay…I never said I didn't have the intention of paying at all."

He let the ideas flood his mind. He'd already ruled out odd jobs so what was left? Random sex? Sure, she was attractive but she was also annoying and he was far from interested. The only thing he wanted was for Rachel Berry to leave him alone.

Before he could continue with his wild imagination she interrupted his thoughts.

"I know you said you weren't going to play your guitar anymore, but I can tell how much you like music. I was thinking that maybe I could sing for you?"

She wanted to sing for him? Instead of paying him the $200 he should have been charging her for fixing her timing belt she wanted to repay him in song? Was this girl for real? For a long moment he let his guard down and allowed himself to stare at her face, his eyes locked on hers. He waited for her to break her front, to laugh or say she was kidding or something, but instead she just watched him and remained surprisingly stoic. Her seriousness confused him. If she was taking the whole offer seriously then she must be at least sort of talented…or she just thought incredibly highly of herself.

He was curious.

"Alright," he agreed. "You can sing for me." He crossed his arms and leaned against the wall of the office.

Rachel clapped her hands together eagerly. "Oh wonderful!"

He stared at her. Her excitement slowly wound down. She stared back. "What?"

"Go ahead. Sing."

The smile that had spread across her face quickly turned into a frown. Her lips turned out into a pout and she slightly shook her head. "Oh no, I can't possibly sing here."

Finn threw his arms up in frustration. "Of course you can't." He ran a hand through his hair and released an audible sigh.

"I couldn't possibly sing without my piano."

With her statement, the aggravation he felt towards her seemed to slightly dissipate. She was a musician, or at least she claimed she was. He glanced down at the hands that grasped his guitar case and imagined them dancing across an ivory keyboard. He wondered what her voice sounded like.

"Well if you can't sing without your piano what do you suggest?"

She reached into her purse and produced a business card, which she offered to him enthusiastically. It was simple white card stock with her name and a stamped address on it. He accepted it and noticed that she was smiling at him again, a glimmer of optimism evident in her features.

"Just come," she answered. "Do you have a lunch break? Maybe around noon?"

He found himself nodding without really thinking about her proposition. Regardless of whether or not he was able to play his own music didn't change the fact that he still loved it deeply. Just because he couldn't handle the emotion of his own music didn't mean he couldn't appreciate hers. Of course that all depended on whether or not she was any good.

"I should be able to be there at noon. I have an appointment at ten and as long as Ms. Sylvester is on her best behavior I should be fine to be there then. But if I get there and you start singing Taylor Swift or whatever other music girls listen to then I'm gone."

She laughed at him and her laughter was musical. He silently hoped she wouldn't be singing Taylor Swift.

"Finn, I can promise you that I'll sing something that's my own. Just come, ok?"

Without another word she brushed past him and walked out of the office, his guitar still clutched in her hands. For the first time since they'd met he found himself insanely curious. What was this mysterious Rachel Berry up to? He would find out soon enough but first he had to get through his appointment with Ms. Sylvester.

It was the first time in a long time he was looking forward to lunch.


	3. Chapter 3: Falling Slowly

a/n: Thank you for your continued support. It is appreciated and encouraged!

Of course neither Glee or Once belong to me. This is purely for entertainment.

* * *

Chapter 3 - Falling Slowly

It had to be some sort of joke. In what seemed like the never-ending saga of Rachel Berry it had to be another one of her tricks.

The rest of his morning had been aggravating to say the least. Sue Sylvester had shown up exactly on time with her prehistoric Le Car and had demanded that Finn replace her snow tires with a brand Hummel Tire and Lube didn't carry. It had taken some extensive calling, but he'd managed to track down her brand of choice at a garage on the other side of Lima. By the time the tires had been delivered and he'd put them on the vehicle he knew he'd be lucky to fulfill his promise of meeting Rachel at noon. He didn't have a phone number or any other way of contacting her so he'd asked Burt to write up Ms. Sylvester's bill while he raced the few blocks to the address she'd given him.

He'd ignored the various insults Ms. Sylvester shouted his way as he put on his jacket and hat. He didn't care that she had called him lazy or incompetent or any of the other adjectives he didn't know the definition to. All he was focused on was meeting Rachel and the funny part was he didn't even know why. He supposed he could blame it on his mother…she'd had the uncanny ability of instilling him with an unwavering sense of responsibility. Finn was a man of his word and if he said he was going to show up at noon he was going to keep his promise…even if he wasn't really sure he wanted to meet up with her in the first place.

He only showed up ten minutes late but as he stood in the middle of Calder Street he was confused.

He wasn't sure what he had expected. Based on his impression of Rachel he sort of thought he'd be standing in front of a well-kept Cape Cod that was surrounded by a white picket fence or maybe an art deco apartment building with an ornate porch that she'd covered with flower pots that would bloom in the springtime. Instead he stood in a poorer section of Lima, commonly known as the Heights, and the building in front of him wasn't any sort of residence but rather a music store.

Frustrated, Finn pulled on the handle of what was apparently called Schuester Music. He was going to go in, figure out why Rachel had given him this address, and give her a piece of his mind. Then he was going to leave. He should have followed his gut instead of his heart. He couldn't deal with Rachel's games any longer.

The door was locked.

He cursed under his breath and began pacing back and forth on the sidewalk. The thought of walking away crossed his mind for the briefest of moments before he returned to the door and proceeded to press his face up against it. He breathed in deeply as he studied the empty room, his breath making warm circles of condensation against the glass. He couldn't figure out why she'd given him the address for not only a music store, but an empty music store at that.

He was ready to give it up and say 'fuck it' when he noticed the slightest movement in the back corner of the room. He pressed his face closer to the glass and attempted to let his eyes adjust to the darkness. In the far shadows of the room he saw her.

Rachel sat behind a piano that was angled awkwardly toward the middle of the room. Finn could tell by the slight movement of her body that she was playing something as he watched her, even though he couldn't hear anything from the street. Her face was surprisingly solemn and she appeared to be more focused than he'd seen her during their brief interactions earlier that morning and the night prior. Her eyes were shut and it was obvious she knew whatever she was playing completely by heart. It was almost odd how peaceful she seemed, like a higher power had washed over her and calmed her down. He could tell she was in a zone where she just felt it in her veins and didn't even need to think. It was a powerful feeling, one he knew well.

He squinted his eyes tighter together, trying to sharpen his vision, and searched for any sign of his guitar case. It kind of hit him like a bolt of lightening. As he watched her, for some reason he had the sudden urge to feel its weight in his hands again, to hear the effortless chords as his fingers strummed against the strings.

Finn stood there and watched her until the cold began to get to him. He raised a hand to tap gently against the glass, hoping it would be enough to get Rachel's attention. She continued to play for a minute, unaware of his existence, so he knocked again, harder. This time she looked up, appearing for a moment to be startled. He felt bad for waking her from her trance but then felt relieved when her trademark smile spread across her features.

She hurried from the piano and unlocked the door. She pushed it open and invited him inside. She closed the door just as quickly, both of them wanting to be protected from the bitter winter weather.

"Hi," he greeted.

"Hi."

He took off his jacket and hat and put them on the bench that sat at the keyboard of a shiny, black, baby grand piano. He took a moment to gather his bearings. The shop that was known as Schuester Music was modest in nature. A few guitars hung against the wall and there was a display that held an array of sheet music in another corner. Besides the baby grand he stood next to and the worn spinet Rachel had been playing, there was an elaborate player piano and a cello leaned against a tattered arm chair.

"I wasn't expecting an invitation to a music store," he said gently, unsure of where else to begin.

Rachel chuckled lightly. "If you can even call it that. Will doesn't like to keep a lot of instruments in stock because most of them would go unsold. There isn't much of a walk-in customer base in Lima. He does special orders when someone has a specific request and the rest of the time we teach lessons."

"So this is where you work?" Finn walked towards the guitars and studied their woodwork, always impressed by the detail in the instrument's craftsmanship. "I guess it was wrong of me to assume to you were inviting me to your house."

Rachel smiled. "Well I don't actually own a piano. We could never really afford one, let alone figure out how to get it up three flights of steep stairs to an apartment. I came in here so often admiring the pianos and asking Will if I could play them that he gave me a job once he discovered my talent matched my enthusiasm. Over time this place has started to feel more like a home well, than home does."

Finn was intrigued. He found himself wondering what her home life was like and why she felt more connected to the store than to wherever she called home. But in another way he understood…music was the best kind of home.

"So wher…"

He was preparing to ask her where her apartment was when she put up a hand to stop him. His mouth snapped shut and he watched her.

"Before we go any further you have to say hello to the piano."

He was sure his face was contorted into a rather sour expression. Has she really just asked him to say hello to an inanimate object? He was confused.

"One must always say hello to the piano," she explained.

Choosing to ignore her crazy, he kept his eyes squarely on hers as he reached out his hand to rest against the gritty wood of the old piano she had been playing before he walked in. He muttered a quiet hello.

Apparently satisfied, Rachel gestured towards the guitar case that sat on a contraption similar to a luggage stand on the other side of the piano. "I brought your guitar with me. I really can't stand to see you throw it away, Finn. Perhaps you'd consider leaving it here at the store with me and Will. I'm sure you're aware that the Heights isn't exactly the most affluent community. There are plenty of children who would love the chance to play the guitar but can't afford an instrument. I was thinking of speaking to Will about starting an outreach program for those less fortunate." She flounced off towards her piano before he could respond. "Just something to think about."

"Um. Ok."

With a curt nod she slid onto the piano bench and rested her fingers against the keys. He leaned against the wall and waited for her to play. There was really no reason to avoid the only reason he'd come there in the first place.

She shifted her eyes to lock on his for a brief moment before she began to pluck out a simple melody on the instrument. Using only her index finger she played a few notes before pausing briefly. Due to the pause he waited for her to say something else to him but instead the music began to grow.

Her left hand joined her right and she spread her fingers gently as they danced across the ivory keyboard. She swayed slightly as the sound of the piano filled the room.

And then she opened her mouth and began to sing.

Her voice was strong and clear. Her lyrics were simple and complex at the same time and she scrunched up her face as she sang. Her song was laced with the curious combination of optimism and sadness. He was instantly paralyzed by both her voice and the song and emotion and passion radiated from the small woman as she continued to sing.

Finn found himself closing his eyes and losing himself in the song. The love she felt for music hit him like a ton of bricks and infused his soul. With every note she played he could feel his own passion growing by the second. For the first time in a long time he didn't associate music with _her_, but instead with the burning familiarity that warmed his entire being. All he could think about was how he felt when he truly connected with something and how his guitar always felt like an extension of himself when he held it in his hands.

His guitar.

He couldn't resist the temptation any longer. With a few fluid steps he walked to the other side of the piano and quickly unlatched the guitar case. He lifted the instrument into his hands and slid his fingers against the wood, still shiny and smooth under his touch. He placed the brocade strap over his shoulder and sat down on a metal stool that was just to side of the bench Rachel sat on. He was well aware that she was watching him as he automatically twisted the tuning pegs and removed the pick that he'd laced underneath the strings on the neck of the guitar.

It only took him two tries before he found the chord that complemented the melody she continued to pluck. He paid close attention to the notes that she played and the encouraging smile she gave him as they fell into a comfortable collaboration. The piano and the guitar mixed together in a flattering fashion and he thought they sounded somewhat good together, even though he didn't really know the song at all.

Usually he didn't like playing other peoples music because it took away the personal edge that always made it somehow more powerful. But as he sat there playing Rachel's song and listening to her sing her words to the music they made together he didn't feel any less connected. It was refreshing to play music and not have a sinking feeling in his stomach.

As they approached the chorus of the song Finn was comfortable enough with the lyrics to lightly harmonize along with her. Rachel had her eyes tightly shut as she played the piano but as soon as he started to sing her eyes popped open and she turned to look at him.

He found himself smiling as their voices blended together, his tenor meshing with her clear soprano. She grinned back at him and he felt the wall he'd built up inside just crumble down. This music was all Rachel…it was him and Rachel…and that was something new.

He liked it.

At the end of the chorus he stopped singing but continued to strum the guitar in time with the melody. She played a few more bars before the tempo slowed again and she ended the song like it started, just a simple line of notes she played with her index finger.

He watched as her finger played the last note. She was motionless for a moment before she pulled her hand back and placed them both in her lap. She stared down at her hands and he just continued to watch her. Seriously, who was this woman?

With just a simple song his entire opinion of her had changed. Gone was annoying girl who had followed him out of the club and dragged his guitar from the garbage. Gone was the woman who had asked him to fix her car and then offered to pay him in song. All he felt now was expanding in his chest that was a combination of his undeniable love of music and…well, Rachel.

She looked up at him, her big eyes blinking softly, and he felt like there was an invisible string holding him to her and he couldn't really comprehend what he was feeling. He didn't know if he was feeling the after effects of her moving lyrics or if he was just overcome with the sensation of holding his guitar again, feeling like he'd just come home from a long trip. All he knew was that he was feeling something that wasn't anger or sadness for the first time in a long time and that that feeling was directed towards a woman. He hadn't felt anything for a woman in a long time…not since _her_.

"I forgot how intense music could be," he whispered. "How it can transcend everything else. I forgot why I loved to play so much."

Rachel smiled up at him. "Music is so much more powerful than people give it credit for. If it wasn't for music I probably wouldn't be here right now either."

He wanted to ask her for an explanation but she turned away from him slightly and began to play the piano again, just a lazy melody that was an extension of the song they had just sung. As the tinkling hit his ears he found himself wanting to know her story. Why was this woman, who had an abundance of talent, sitting in a crappy music store in a tiny Midwestern town when she had more than enough ability to be singing on Broadway or touring the country or doing anything else for that matter. What had happened in her life that she kept her talents hidden away?

He kept his questions to himself and continued to watch her intently as she played. Still feeling an incredible pull towards her, he took off his guitar and placed it back into its case. He moved off the stool and slid onto the bench beside her. He leaned in and studied her delicate fingers as they slid against the keys and pushed them ever so slightly. He pressed his leg against hers subconsciously as his eyes fluttered shut and he let the music overtake him again.

When the song ended Rachel once again drew her hands into her lap and he leaned in towards her, an invisible force pulling his face towards hers. He just felt so _connected _to her that he suddenly felt the need to be as close to her as possible.

As he leaned in towards her he was entranced by a combination of almonds and cherries and it was so overpowering that moved until he was close enough to feel the heat off her skin and his breath against her cheek. She turned her head slightly and he could feel her watching him out of the corner of his eye. All he had to do was shift a millimeter and his lips would be pressed against hers.

He hadn't realized what he'd actually done until she flew off the bench and retreated away from the piano.

He looked up at her slowly. Her eyes were wide and she was pacing back and forth nervously. He mentally cursed himself. Had he really tried to kiss her? Damn the music and damn his emotions! Hadn't he learned anything last time? He shook his head. This was why he'd decided to stop playing. He just couldn't handle everything that seemed to be an extension of the music. What was his problem? He needed to focus on the music and let it just be about the music, otherwise he was going to get in over his head again and he couldn't do that. He wouldn't do that.

He felt like crap. She had gotten him to play his guitar again and reignited that passion inside of him and he'd gone and tried to do something really stupid. He really wasn't sure how he was supposed to proceed, all he knew was that he couldn't lose Rachel. Not over something as stupid as a failed kiss that only almost happened because he couldn't control his emotions. God, he sounded more like a fifteen year old girl rather than a thirty year old man.

She crossed her arms and looked around the room, anywhere but directly at him. "I'm glad you were able to come and hear me sing, Finn. Thank you for fixing my car. I really do appreciate it."

"Rachel…"

"I think it would be best if you left. I have a lesson in a few minutes and I need to prepare. I can't hold a lesson without reviewing my extremely detailed lesson plan."

Dejected, he walked back towards the baby grand, put on his jacket, and shoved his hat into his pocket. He couldn't find the words to say anything else to her so he did as she asked. He shoved his hands back into his pockets and pushed open the door, his force laced with frustration.

It wasn't until he walked onto the sidewalk that he remembered he'd left his guitar by the piano. It only caused him to do stupid things. He didn't want it anyway.


	4. Chapter 4: If You Want Me

a/n: I really hope you all enjoy this chapter. I think it's my favorite so far! Thank you again for all of your support. It keeps me encouraged!

Of course neither Glee or Once belong to me. This is purely for entertainment.

* * *

Chapter 4 - If You Want Me

He couldn't get the melody out of his head. The simple notes that she had played kept spinning through his memory like a cyclone. It had become almost like a complex math problem…the notes, plus the lyrics, multiplied by the passion, divided by Rachel equaled a multifaceted emotion that he couldn't begin to define.

He couldn't erase her face from his memory. He could perfectly remember the lyrics to the song's chorus and their encouraging advice and the way she looked at him while she sang. He wasn't really sure why he was taking it to heart…it wasn't like she had written the words for him. Hell, she could have written the song about anyone or anything yet he had to let himself get pulled into the emotion and then go and do something stupid. Why had he tried to kiss her? He barely even tolerated her. Starting a romantic relationship with Rachel Berry was the last thing he thought he wanted.

If only he could get her out of his head.

Even though her performance (form of payment, whatever) hadn't exactly gone as expected, he really didn't regret anything that had happened. Even though he'd made a fool of himself in front of Rachel he'd also done something he swore he would never do again…pick up his guitar. He didn't anticipate that he would miss it as quickly and as deeply as he had and when he'd heard Rachel play her piano it had reignited something inside of him.

He had to see her.

* * *

The rest of the afternoon moved at a snail's pace. After an eventful morning it was a quiet afternoon, which made the minutes seem like hours. Finn tinkered with his and Burt's project car (a 1950's Chrysler. They were restoring it and it was going to be sweet) until he could no longer concentrate. He felt like he was going to explode if he didn't get out of the shop.

"Hey Burt? Since it's slow would you mind if I ducked out a little early?"

His step-father looked at him from the other side of the car and bobbed his head. "Sure, go ahead."

"See you in the morning," Finn called over his shoulder. He slipped on his jacket as he headed towards the door.

He walked up the sidewalk slowly and turned in the direction that headed back towards the Heights. He didn't know where else to look for Rachel other than the music store. He didn't know where she lived and he definitely didn't have her telephone number. He hoped she was still teaching a lesson or at the very least was still hanging around so she could play the piano.

When he reached Calder Street he hurried through a busy intersection and lightly jogged up the sidewalk until he was standing in front of Schuester Music. It was just as dark and empty as before but he still pressed his face against the door and hoped that he'd see her sitting behind her instrument. He had just leaned back to adjust his collar to protect himself from the cold when the door swung open and hit him square in the face. He clutched his right cheek and swore under his breath.

"I'm sorry, mister," a voice said quietly.

He looked down and saw a child, no older than ten, holding a violin case, his eyes wide with guilt. "It's ok," he mumbled. He stepped aside so the child scamper down the street.

"Everyone ok out here?"

Finn's head snapped up at the sound of the voice. It most certainly did not belong to Rachel. When a curly haired man appeared at the door and smiled at him his heart sank just a little bit.

"Is Rachel still here?" He asked quickly.

The man shook his head. "I'm sorry, she left early today. I'm Will Schuester. Is there something I can help you with?"

Finn shook the hand that Will Schuester had extended towards him and followed him into the store. He connected two and two and presumed him to be the proprietor of the store.

"I'm Finn Hudson. I was playing music with her earlier today and we kind of got…um, interrupted. I came back to apologize."

"Ah, so you must be the owner of the Martin that suddenly appeared in my shop," Will gestured towards his guitar, which laid in its still-propped-open case.

"Yes, sir." Finn shoved his hands in his jacket, unsure of how to continue. He figured it was best to just come out and ask about her, rather than continue with the unnecessary small talk. "Listen, I was hoping you could help me. I really need to see Rachel and I know I'm probably acting out of line, but do you know where I could find her?"

Will watched him for a moment and he hoped he didn't come off as some sort of creepy stalker. He didn't want Rachel's boss to think there was some random guy attempting to stalk her or something. Just as Finn was preparing to swear he wasn't a kidnapper or a molester, the older man's features softened.

"Yeah, I know where you can find her. I'm only telling you this because when she raced out of here before she was noticeably worked up, even more so than usual, and she may have mentioned your name. She lives over Ravine Street…6 Ravine Street…Apartment 3B."

Finn reached out and shook the man's hand again. "Thank you so much, Mr. Schuester. I really appreciate it."

He had turned to leave when Will Schuester called out his name. He stopped.

"I don't know how you met Rachel or what your relationship with her actually is, but be careful with her," Will cautioned. "She's been through a lot these last couple of years. She used to be a girl with big dreams. All she ever wanted was to get out of this town, but her plans changed when life got in the way. It has a funny way of doing that, you know."

Finn stared at Will. He wanted to ask more about the girl he knew so little about, but he resisted. He was sure he'd overstepped his boundaries enough for one day. He gave will a small nod and tried to leave again.

"Finn?" He froze at Will's voice. "Don't tell Rachel what I just told you. I'm sure I've already told you more than I should have. I just care about her and well, I need her to be here tomorrow to teach the vocal lessons."

He smiled, but didn't turn around to face the owner again. "Don't worry. I won't say anything."

With a firm push against the door he hurried off into the late afternoon twilight.

* * *

Ravine Street was only a few blocks from Calder Street and Finn had located the address easily. The Cape Cod/Art Deco apartment fantasy he'd had faded even further away when he looked up at the building in front of him. It was ugly, almost utilitarian in appearance, and he couldn't imagine that someone so full of life could live somewhere that looked so lifeless. His conversation with Will instantly flooded his memory and he reminded himself that he actually didn't know anything about Rachel or her life. It was unfair to pity her when he had no idea what she dealt with.

He reached for the main door of the building and was relieved to find it unlocked. He climbed the three flights of stairs to the third floor effortlessly and paused outside of apartment 3B. Did he really want to do this? He'd been looking for an 'out' since Rachel Berry had cornered him in the back of the bar the night she'd heard him play and this was certainly it. It would be so simple to walk back down those stairs and disappear into the night like he'd never met or tried to kiss her. But if he walked away from her he would also walk away from the music and he didn't want to do that again.

He knocked on the door.

He waited for a moment before he heard the sound of deadbolts being unlocked and then the door swung open. A tall man, with short dark curls and skin the color of heavily creamed coffee, stood before him. The man was about eye level with Finn, but he still felt terribly intimidated.

"Can I help you with something?"

Finn gulped. "Um…is Rachel home?"

Before the man could answer he heard footsteps and then the door swung open wider to reveal Rachel standing in the foyer. She twirled a strand of her long hair around her finger and stared at him. She looked smaller somehow (if that was even possible) in her casual leggings and oversized sweater. She continued to play with her hair and he could tell she was nervous. He wished he understood why.

The older gentleman looked back and forth between the pair expectantly. "Someone want to introduce me?"

Rachel folded her arms across her chest. "Daddy, this is Finn Hudson. Finn, this is my father, LeRoy Berry."

LeRoy extended his hand towards Finn and shook the younger man's hand firmly. After their hands dropped LeRoy's features noticeably softened, almost like he recognized him or something.

"Finn Hudson," he muttered with a small smile. "You're the boy that fixed my Rachel's car. You're quite the lifesaver, son. I didn't know if that old jalopy was going to live to see another day. I'm sure our princess has already thanked you but we really do appreciate your help."

Finn blushed. "Uh. Sure. It wasn't a problem at all."

"Please, come in," LeRoy offered. He took a step back and gestured for Finn to enter the apartment.

The main room of the apartment was small and simply decorated. There was an entertainment system consisting of an older, tube-style television and a stereo against the far wall of the room. A tattered couch, along with a loveseat and an easy chair, were arranged around a non-functioning fireplace, and a worn, Oriental rug covered the hardwood floor. Sure, it was modest and most of the furniture and appliances appeared to be second-hand, but it was lived in and Finn thought that was more important than fancy fabrics or the latest technology. He'd been in plenty of houses or apartments that were decked out with every luxury, but they were cold, harsh environments. The Berry residence was the very opposite of cold and harsh.

"It's so nice of you to stop by, Finn," LeRoy said. "Our Rachel doesn't have friends over very often."

Finn barely registered LeRoy's statement because he was too busy watching Rachel. He had to bite the inside of his bottom lip to restrain his laughter. The imaginary daggers Rachel's eyes shot at her father were obvious and it was hilarious. LeRoy caught onto to Rachel's nonverbal clues and quickly excused himself.

After he left they stood in the living room and looked anywhere but at one another.

"Well this is awkward," Finn mumbled, his voice barely above a whisper. "I hope you're not mad that I'm here. I kind of went back to the music store to see you and your boss gave me your address."

Rachel still wouldn't look at him. "Would you like a tour?" She suggested. She completely ignored everything he'd said.

It seemed like an odd suggestion but he agreed. He would have agreed to anything at that point that broke the tension that filled the room like a heavy smog.

She turned and marched off to what he assumed was the kitchen when he grabbed her elbow and forced her to stop. She yanked her arm away from his touch, almost like she'd been burned, and took a few steps away from him.

"Listen, Rachel, I came here to apologize. I was out of line earlier today. I'm not really sure what came over me…I guess I just got caught up in the music or something. I told you I tend to get too emotionally invested. And you wondered why I didn't want to play anymore!"

Her face was stern for a long moment before she sighed and gave him a soft smile. He felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders as a shallow dimple appeared on her left cheek. "It's ok. I understand, but thank you for your apology."

She turned away from him and continued to walk towards the kitchen. So they really were going on a tour? He assumed it had been some sort of ploy to distract from what was really on both of their minds. He thought they'd broken the tension but he decided to follow her anyway.

"So this is the kitchen obviously." It was small, but clean. He noticed that there wasn't a dishwasher and that there was a small, maple table with four chairs in one corner. Other than that it seemed like a fairly typical kitchen.

She slipped past him and disappeared down the hallway and he supposed that was his clue to follow.

"This is the bathroom obviously and this is the door to my fathers' room."

He paused a moment. Had she just said fathers'? As in more than one father? He shook his head. He wanted to ask her a million questions but his conversation with Will Schuester flooded his memory. He simply nodded at her in an amiable fashion and let it drop. He reminded himself again that it was none of his business.

"And that room," she said as she pointed to the door decorated with gold and hot pink stars at the far end of the hallway, "Is the one I share with Rowena."

Finn was just about to ask who Rowena was when he heard the door open again. The sound of laughter and talking filtrated down the hallway as well as a child's voice calling for 'Mama'. He looked at the star covered door and then down at Rachel.

"Rowena is my daughter," she explained.

The questions he'd promised himself he wouldn't ask flooded his brain again. He fought the urge with everything he had but couldn't help but let one slip through his lips. "Where's her father?"

Rachel instantly tensed up. It was obvious she didn't want to have this conversation with him and he cursed himself for making her uncomfortable again. But he couldn't take it back now and he would have been lying if he said he didn't want to know.

"Um…he's not around," she answered quietly. She stared down at her sock covered feet. Finn heard the child call for Rachel again and she twisted her hair around her fingers, something he figured was a nervous habit. "Do you want to meet her? And my other dad?"

He found himself nodding without really thinking about it. He was still curious about the mysterious Rachel Berry.

He followed her down the hallway again and as soon as they stepped into the living room she was mauled by a miniature version of herself. Finn's attention was solely focused on Rachel and the child. She knelt down to the little girl's level and smoothed a hand over her dark bangs and pigtail braids. She leaned in and kissed each of her cheeks and held her hands in her own.

"Did you have a good time at the store with Papa, Love?" Rachel asked.

The little girl nodded her head enthusiastically. "Oh yes, Mama. We got challah and tilapia for Shabbat!"

Finn stood there, silent. He didn't know what challah or tilapia were.

"Who's that?" The little girl asked. She turned her attention to the visitor.

"This is Finn," Rachel introduced. "He helped Mama fix her car this afternoon."

The precocious child took a few tentative steps towards him and extended a hand in his direction. "Pleased to meet you, Finn. I'm Rowena Berry. I'm six."

He shook her tiny hand, noticing how it practically disappeared in his grasp. He watched the way her eyes blinked curiously as she studied him and she reminded him so much of Rachel. She truly was her living mini-me.

"And I'm Hiram."

Finn's attention shifted away from the child to settle on the man he guessed was Rachel's other father. He wasn't nearly as intimidated as he had been when he'd met LeRoy. Hiram stood just as tall, wore what Finn referred to as 'statement glasses', and had a kind demeanor. The nose on his face matched Rachel's and he guessed he was her biological father, but he wasn't asking questions.

"It's good to meet you sir," Finn said politely. The older gentleman nodded at him in greeting.

"Peanut," Hiram said, his focus on Rowena. "What say you and I go into the kitchen and see if Poppy left us any of the chocolate milk you like so much. You do know he has quite the sweet tooth!"

The child clapped her hands and bounced up and down. Before she followed Hiram into the kitchen she waved slightly at Finn. "I liked meeting you."

He smiled. "I liked meeting you, too."

Hiram smiled at them and put his hand on the little girl's shoulder. "Now Rowena, we must sing for our chocolate milk!" He extended his hand towards her and sang "_Raindrops on roses…"_

Rowena placed her hand in his and smiled. "_And whiskers on kittens._"

"_Bright copper kettles._"

"_And warm woolen mittens_."

Finn watched as the pair skipped off towards the kitchen, their song still audible in the living room. He turned and looked at Rachel, who stared off towards the kitchen, a sad smile on her face.

"She's wonderful," Finn said gently.

Rachel smiled at him with slightly more authenticity. "She's my whole world."

He wanted to ask her an unlimited amount of questions and they burned in the back of his throat. He'd been so glad he'd met Will Schuester earlier in the day otherwise he would have undoubtedly continued to have made the same mistakes he'd already committed. For some reason he wanted to know everything, but he wasn't going to press her for answers.

"Well I'm sorry I just showed up," Finn said slowly. "But I had to apologize."

"I'm glad you did."

Finn shoved his hands in his pockets and walked towards the door. "I guess I'll be going."

He wanted her to stop him. He wanted her to say something, anything that would give him the inclination that she wanted him to stay.

Rachel reached for the handle and opened the door. His heart sank.

"Goodbye, Finn."

"Bye, Rachel."

He took the steps quickly and hurried out into the night. He needed to put as much distance between himself and Rachel or else he knew he would want to stay.

Now he was more lost than ever.

* * *

As soon as Rachel shut the door she rested her head against the worn, painted wood. She could feel Finn's absence throughout the whole apartment. The whole room just seemed empty now that he'd gone.

She listened to his footsteps down the stairs and a melody began to play in her head. It belonged to the song she'd sung with Finn earlier in the day, the one she couldn't get out of her mind. As the notes played through her memory she remembered how his fingers had pressed against the guitar strings so expertly and how their eyed had just seemed to find each others as they played.

Rachel could feel her fingers move involuntarily, as if she played an invisible piano. She wasn't sure what sort of Pandora's Box she'd opened by stopping Finn that night at the bar, but as she began to hum the melody all she could think about was him.

* * *

a/n: For those wondering I chose the name Rowena for Rachel's daughter because it means fame, joy, and happiness. I figured those would all be a requirement in the meaning behind the name Rachel picked for her child.


	5. Chapter 5: Say It To Me Now

a/n: Thank you for the continued support! Your feedback, favorites, and follows are such great encouragement!

Of course neither Glee or Once belong to me. This is purely for entertainment.

* * *

Chapter 5 - Say It To Me Now

Rachel sat at the small table in her kitchen with a spiral bound notebook opened in front of her. She'd been up at the crack of dawn that morning and was attempting to kill the time before she had to be at the store by working on some new lyrics. She was on her third cup of coffee and while she was physically wide awake and focused her mind continued to wander. She'd doodled more in the margins of the notebook than she'd actually written.

Writing seemed to be a problem for her since she'd met Finn. Before she'd known him she would sit for hours, pouring her life and memories into stanzas that would become the lyrics for her songs. Not many people were aware of the bottomless pit of inspiration that was always inside of her, but she'd had more than enough experiences to fill a million songbooks.

But instead of the drama and sorrow laden words that had always come so effortlessly to her, her thoughts were filled with curiosity and optimism and wonder.

In short, her lyrics were filled with Finn.

They weren't romantic in the sense but they were encouraging and inspirational, which were two things she almost never wrote about. She couldn't help it. Instead of seeing pain and disappointment, when she closed her eyes she saw him.

"Working on your lyrics again, Buttercup?"

Rachel looked up as her father, Hiram, walked into the kitchen. He was freshly showered and smelled like rain in the springtime as he leaned in to kiss her cheek. He paused before he stood back up and she knew that he had glanced at her notebook.

"Butterflies? Music notes? Cars?" He questioned. "Are you trying to use hieroglyphics, Dandelion?"

She chose to ignore her father's overuse of ridiculous childhood nicknames and shook her head fervently. "No, Daddy. I guess I just have a lot on my mind this morning."

Rachel watched as he went to the cupboard and retrieved four bowls and a box of breakfast cereal. He lined them up along the counter and filled each one with Honey Nut Cheerios. He reached on top of the microwave for a medicine container and then placed a Flintstone vitamin in front of each bowl. He filled one bowl with soy milk and handed it to Rachel.

She stirred the cereal to make it look like she was going to eat it when in reality she didn't have an appetite at all. She was deciding whether or not she could stomach a spoonful when she heard the sound of running in the hallway.

"Good morning, Mommy! Good morning, Papa!"

Her daughter flew into the kitchen like the ray of sunshine she was. It didn't matter what kind of mood she was in or what was floating around in her head, the moment she saw Rowena the haze of confusion in her mind dissipated and she became focused solely on her child.

"Mommy, Poppy said he would take me to the park after school today if the snow stops! Isn't that wonderful?"

Rachel smiled at her. Her non-stop enthusiasm was endearing. "It is wonderful, Bumblebee. Now eat your cereal so you're not late."

Rowena climbed onto her own chair and began eating the breakfast that her Papa placed in front of her. Her father handed each of them a vitamin and they both chewed them obediently. She watched her daughter for a moment and then went back to drawing in her notebook.

"Snow Pea," her father, LeRoy, began. Rachel scrunched up her nose. She hadn't heard him come into the kitchen and she detested his choice of nickname as well. Would it really be that difficult for either one of them to call her Rachel? "You need to be careful..."

She narrowed her eyes on him. "I'm not sure what you mean."

"That boy," he said pointedly. "No one is happier than me to see you befriend someone that you actually want to bring around and introduce Rowena to, but you shouldn't…not him. And I think you know that."

Rachel looked down at her notebook. She knew he was right. There was enough going on in her life right now, never mind the untold thoughts that floated around subconsciously in her mind, and she didn't need another distraction.

But Finn wasn't a distraction, not really at least. Helping him was going to make her feel better about the direction her life had taken and she need something, anything to propel her forward. Perhaps that was a little selfish on her part but she really did want to help him and she could always use another friend, albeit a friend who'd tried to kiss her…

"You're right," she agreed, choosing to play along for everyone's sake. She took a bite of her cereal and tried her hardest not to gag on it. She hated lying to her dad's.

She focused back in on Rowena and after she stared at the child as she dribbled milk down her chin, she looked back at her fathers', both of whom were looking at her with concern. She plastered the most genuine smile she could muster across her face and then stood to dump the remainder of her cereal in the sink.

"Thank you for taking Rowena to school for me today," she said blandly. "I'm going to hop in the shower real quick so I can say goodbye to her before you leave."

Before they could respond or she could say anything else that would have been more of a lie than the truth, she quickly went into the bathroom and shut the door. She turned the water in the shower on as hot as it would go and shed her pajamas before she climbed in to stand under the scalding stream of water.

She scrubbed her scalp, she scrubbed her skin, she sang as loudly as she could.

But no matter what she did, she couldn't stop thinking about Finn.

* * *

He would have been lying if he'd said he hadn't thought about her.

It had been a few days since he'd visited Rachel at her apartment be he still couldn't get her out of his head. He would be working in the garage and hear some generic song come on the radio and instantly be transported back to the music store. Her melody overtook his thoughts and he could still feel an invisible pull towards her.

He had busied himself at the garage as he attempted to forget her existence. He'd accepted every job that had come in and insisted that Burt take some time to relax. He'd tinkered with the Chrysler until he had calluses on his fingertips and kinks in his muscles.

He had his head buried in the engine of the old car when he heard Burt call for him.

"Finn!"

His head immediately shot up at his step-father's call. He raised one eyebrow to ask a non-verbal question when he saw Burt raise up the telephone to where he could see it. "Phone!"

He was sort of confused. He didn't usually get phone calls when he was working (he did have a cell phone after all) and he was initially concerned as to why someone was calling him in the middle of the afternoon. He hoped it wasn't Mr. Pierce calling him about Brittany again.

In a few quick bounds he moved across the floor of the shop and lifted the phone to his hear. "Hummel Tire and Lube," he said automatically.

"Finn?"

His breath caught in his throat. It was a girl and for a split second he was terrified. He couldn't recognize who it was from their simple greeting and he was horrified that it might be _her_. In all honesty he'd expected _her_ call for quite some time but he hadn't been prepared for it to interrupt him in the middle of the workday.

"Finn, it's Rachel."

He let out an audible sigh of relief. "Oh thank God," he mumbled.

"Did you say something?"

"What? No! I mean, hey Rachel. What's up?" He shut his eyes with embarrassment, even though she couldn't see him. He could be such a loser sometimes (most of the time).

She giggled and all his other concerns seemed to just melt away. "I hope you don't mind that I called you at work. I don't have your cell number…"

He shook his head until he realized that he was on the phone and that she couldn't actually see him. "Uh, no. It's fine. Did you need something?" He drove his palm into his forehead…glad she couldn't see him. He was _so_ lame.

He could detect the slightest notion of hesitation in her extended silence but he waited for her to continue. "Well, I wanted to call to see if you wanted to meet up with me later tonight. I thought maybe we could get a drink and talk?"

Was she asking him out? No…not really he supposed. But she was asking him out to get a drink and that was at least something. He'd convinced himself that he would never hear from her again and he was so relieved to hear her voice on the phone…not just because he was glad it wasn't _her_ but because he really did want to see her again.

"Um. Ok. Sure. Where?" He rolled his eyes again. He was so happy she couldn't see him.

"Rolands," she said quickly. "I'll meet you there at 9:30. Do you know where it is?"

He told her that he did and then excused himself, partially because he had to get back to work and partially because he didn't know what else to say to her without it growing even more uncomfortable. He hated the phone. He much preferred speaking face-to-face.

He felt different the rest of his afternoon at work. He was more pleasant with the customers and hummed along with the radio as it played in the background. Somehow, knowing that he was going to see Rachel soon made his afternoon much more bearable.

* * *

At 9:30 that evening Finn walked towards Roland's. It was a non-descript, hole-in-the-wall kind of place, but he figured that could describe most of the bars in Lima. As he neared the entrance he saw that Rachel was already waiting for him.

She was holding his guitar.

He threw up his arms as closed the distance between them. "What are you doing?"

She smiled that smile at him. "It's good to see you too."

"The guitar," he said stubbornly. He'd assumed she was done with her tricks but perhaps that had been his hormones speaking.

"Your music means something to me, Finn. Now that we're friends I won't stand by and just watch you quit. When you played the other day at the music store I saw the same passion radiate from you as I did the night I first saw you play. You can deny it all you want but you still love it and I'm going to remind you why."

His mouth flapped open and shut a few times as he tried to find the words to match what he felt but thankfully she chose to continue speaking.

"I've signed you up for Roland's open mike night. The world needs to hear you sing!"

He couldn't help but laugh at her. "Lima, Ohio is hardly the world."

She looked up at him and pursed her lips. "Tonight Lima will hear you sing but soon the world will hear you. Now come on."

Rachel struggled to open the door while holding his guitar but managed to do so using a combination of her foot and shoulder. He knew he should have helped her but her comments had left him momentarily stunned. After he gathered his bearings he followed her, drawn in by her unwavering support of his apparent talent.

The bar was smoky and sparsely occupied, similar to the bar he'd played at before, but as he spotted Rachel standing near the stage he couldn't help but feel like she was a big, bright star illuminating the dingy atmosphere. There was just something about her that commanded everyone's attention and he couldn't be around her and not want to be near her. She, quite simply, attracted him like a moth to a flame.

Rachel was talking to a man with shaggy blond hair that stood off to the side of the miniscule stage. He walked up to them and as he approached the other man walked away. Rachel turned towards him and directed a smile in his direction.

"Are you ready?" She asked. "Sam said the house band isn't playing until later so you're free to start whenever you like."

The dump had a house band? Huh. Now he'd heard everything.

"I really don't have anything prepared. I haven't played at all since that day in your music store…"

She rolled her eyes at him. "I don't like excuses, Finn. You mean to tell me that you don't have an endless supply of songs you could sing off the top of your head? You can say what you want, but I wouldn't believe you for a moment."

He sighed and reached for his guitar case. He placed it on one of the presumably sticky tabletops and unlatched the case. He lifted the guitar into his hands and slug the strap over his shoulder. He swung the guitar around so it hung diagonally across his back.

"Ok. Let's just get this over with."

Rachel clapped her hands and jumped up and down a little. She looked absolutely thrilled.

He climbed onto the stage and walked to the microphone. He leaned in and muttered a hello to make sure it was turned on. When he heard his voice echo through the small room he took a step back and tuned the strings to his liking. After he strummed a few quick chords he stepped back towards the microphone and cleared his throat.

He decided to sing a song that he knew like the back of his hand. It was on the shorter side and almost lacked the heartache that was the underlying theme of most of the music he wrote. It was also on the short side so he hoped it would satisfy Rachel's demand so he could get off the stage as quickly as possible.

As he sang he tried to focus on the way the strings felt under his fingers and not so much on the lyrics. Even though it could be considered to be on the light side he still didn't want to let himself go there. He looked around the room as he played, noticing how no one in the room paid him any attention. It was better that way he supposed. He knew better than to look in Rachel's direction. He knew that if he saw her watching him that all the emotions he associated with music would flood back and if he was going to get through the song he needed to pretend like she wasn't even there.

He muttered the final words of the song, his lips barely brushing against the microphone as he finished. He expected to be greeted with the expected silence he'd grown accustomed to, but instead the few people who were seated around the bar began to applaud. Albeit it was modest, but it was still applause, and it was more than he was used to. Off to the side of the stage he finally let himself focus on Rachel. She bounced up and down with a smile plastered across her face and she beamed at him. The apparent pride that she felt while watching him sing resonated and he grinned back at her.

Finn said thank you into the microphone and then walked off the stage. He placed his guitar back in the case and Rachel raced up to him.

"You see? I told you! You were fantastic! You really have no idea how talented you are. Your song just touched a bunch of middle aged, half drunk Roland's regulars and if did that just imagine what you could make people who actually know music feel!"

He gave her a lazy half smile. "I don't know if I'd go that far, but I'm glad you liked it."

He had been prepared to gather up his guitar and ask Rachel if she wanted to sit at the bar and have a drink when he heard a quiet chant coming from the few patrons of the bar.

Rachel grinned at him and patted his arm with slight hesitation. "Well, go ahead."

"Go ahead what?"

She giggled. "Can't you hear them? They're asking for an encore. Go play something for them! Give your fans what they want!"

He snickered and shook his head slightly. "Yeah, right. The only way I'm getting back up on that stage is if you're coming with me."

She shook her head and folded her hands in front of her. "You know I can't sing without my piano, Finn."

"You can use the keyboard."

They both turned their heads in the direction of the voice and he saw the blonde haired man that Rachel had been talking to when they'd first gotten there.

"It's already plugged in and ready to go. You can use it."

Rachel looked towards Finn and he shrugged. "Come on, Rachel. You know you want to give the crowd what they want. Sing with me."

She glanced at his guitar and then towards the stage. He could see both the hesitation and the desire in her eyes. Her eyes shifted back and forth a few more times because she gave a decisive nod. "Ok."

He grabbed the guitar back from his case and walked back onto the stage, Rachel on his heels. She slid onto the stool behind the keyboard and he pulled the microphone back slightly on the stage so he stood just off to her right. They looked at each other for the briefest moment. They hadn't discussed it, but there was really only one song they could sing. It was hers to begin with, but he hadn't been able to get it out of his head since they'd met. He didn't care if he messed up or forgot some of her lyrics. They were going to sing it…and people were going to hear.

They started just as they had the other day. Rachel plucked out the melody and then he joined in with the accompanying chords before he began to sing with her. They glanced at each other as their voices blended together and Finn felt his heart pound in his chest as he listed to the words they sang and the music they made. It was powerful.

When the song ended there wasn't even a pause…the entire bar, even the bartenders and the blonde man who owned the keyboard, broke into applause. Finn and Rachel smiled at each other and then thanked the crowd. It appeared they weren't the only ones connected to a song.

* * *

A few hours later they sat at one of the tables in the bar. The guitar case sat on the floor next to them and Rachel had her feet propped on top of it, her ankles crossed delicately. They had spent a good amount of time dissecting their performance and had enjoyed quite a few drinks. Finn tried to not pay too close of attention to the way Rachel slurped her pineapple and Malibu through her straw.

"Do you guys mind if I talk with you for a minute?"

They both looked up to see the blonde man standing before them. The house band had just finished playing and he stood before them with a beer in his hand.

"Sure," Rachel replied. "Have a seat."

He pulled out the remaining chair at their table and offered his hand towards Finn. "I'm Sam Evans. I manage the house band here."

Finn accepted his hand and shook it firmly. "Finn Hudson. Nice to meet you, Sam."

"I don't want to interrupt your night, but I was hoping I could convince you both to come back and play again. Trust me when I say I don't hear a reception like the one you guys received tonight very often. There was something there that everyone really liked."

Rachel beamed at him. "Thank you, Sam! I've been trying to tell Finn how wonderful his music is."

Sam took a drink of his beer and bobbed his head. "Absolutely. And the two of you together are just…I can't find a word for it, but I haven't heard anything like that before. Please consider my offer."

Finn took a sip of his own beer. "We'll…I mean, I'll think about it."

Sam stood up and thanked them both again for playing. "And when you come back, you should bring a demo CD with you. I know a few people who might be interested."

They both watched as Sam walked away and when Finn turned his attention back towards Rachel she had extended her glass towards him. She clinked her glass against his beer bottle and took a long sip from the straw.

"This is great! He wants us to come back!" The alcohol had caused Rachel to talk more than usual and he rather liked the way she'd loosened up. "I've always enjoyed performing, even if it is only at a crappy bar in Lima. I'd kind of given up having any music executive hear my music but it's something to consider at least, right? Sam may be embellishing on who exactly he knows but it's a nice thought. We should definitely practice or something. Maybe if we can collaborate on another song we can come back and sing."

Finn's attention was peaked by her suggestion of practice. Anything that was going to allow him to spend more time with her was ok in his book.

"But Sam said to bring a demo. To have a demo we have to record one first. Studio time costs money…lots of money. I don't know about you, but I don't have that kind of extra change just lying around. Where are we going to come up with money like that?"

Rachel took a final sip of her drink and scrunched up her face. "You know…I might know someone who can help us."


	6. Chapter 6: Gold

a/n: Thank you again for your feedback, follows, and alerts. I really appreciate you interest in this story. You all definitely keep me going!

As always, neither Glee or Once belong to me. This is purely for entertainment.

* * *

Chapter 6 - Gold

Finn stood on Main Street and looked up at the colossal stone building that stood before him. He'd never really been in a bank before. He had a checking account at a small credit union but he didn't really know much about money…except that he didn't have much of it.

Rachel had arranged an appointment for them at the First National Bank of Lima and she'd instructed him to dress nicely and meet her promptly at 11am. It had taken some finagling on his part to get Burt to agree to give him the day off but he stood on the sidewalk and awaited Rachel's arrival.

It was cold out and he fiddled with his fingers, partially to keep them from freezing and partially because he was nervous. He was uncomfortable in his slightly-too-small suit and a million thoughts raced through his mind as he tried to envision how the meeting would play out. He didn't own a home, or have any other sort of collateral…he couldn't think of one good reason why this bank would want to loan him money.

He heard shoes clicking against the sidewalk and turned his head to see Rachel walking towards him. She was wearing dark tights, black boots, and a coat the color of snow with shiny black buttons. Her hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail and she looked sophisticated and professional.

Finn gulped nervously. This was really going to happen.

"Hey," she greeted.

He could only grin at her weakly and slightly bob his head. He was _so_ nervous and he was afraid if he opened his mouth he would somehow try to talk himself out of meeting with the bank.

"You're nervous," she said, almost as if she'd read his mind. "Don't be. The person we're meeting with is an old high school classmate of mine. In fact, we were in the Glee club together so I know he appreciates music. I'm positive he was well-aware of my talents and I'm optimistic he'll be sympathetic to our cause."

Finn laughed nervously at her. Leave it to Rachel to make their desire for a loan sound more like they were seeking money for a charity. He didn't understand how some random guy she went to high school with was going to be willing to give them money so they could record a demo CD. Even he thought it sounded ridiculous.

"Now come on," she urged. "And let me do the talking."

He nodded and held the door open for her. The thought of trying to convince the loan officer to give them the money on his own hadn't even crossed his mind.

Their shoes echoed on the marble foyer of the bank and they hung their coats on the coat rack near the door. Without being prompted, Rachel leaned in to adjust Finn's tie. He stood frozen as her fingers fluttered against his chest. He noted that this was one of the few times she'd actually let herself touch him. He didn't want to alert her to what she was doing. He liked it.

"Can I help you?" The receptionist who sat at the office entrance asked.

Rachel dropped her hands from Finn's tie and smiled politely. "Yes, thank you. We have an appointment with Artie Abrams."

The woman typed on her computer and then smiled at them. "He's expecting you. You can go ahead back. First door on your left."

Rachel thanked her and started to walk down the hallway. Finn followed closely behind. After a few steps she knocked on the open door and when the person inside invited them in she said hello and then started to squeal. Finn's eyebrow instantly shot up. It was an odd reaction to have in such a professional environment.

He let her walk into the room first. He only entered a moment later but by the time he'd walked in Rachel was already in the embrace of the presumed Artie Abrams. He had dark hair, tortoiseshell framed eyes, and wore dark suspenders over a white dress shirt. He sat perched in a wheelchair and smiled brightly at Rachel, who still had her arms wrapped around his neck.

"It's so good to see you, Artie!" She exclaimed. "What's it been? Eight? Nine years?"

Artie pushed his glasses up on his nose. "Something like that. It's good to see you, Rachel, you look exactly the same as you did in high school."

She giggled. "Well I doubt that, but I appreciate the compliment nonetheless." She stood up from Artie and glanced over her shoulder to where he stood nervously in the doorway. "Artie, this is my friend, Finn Hudson. He's the reason why we're here today."

Finn extended his hand towards Artie and he shook it firmly. "It's good to meet you, Finn. Please, have a seat."

He pulled out the chair for Rachel and then sat in his own while Artie directed his wheelchair back behind the desk. He checked something on the computer and then folded his hands on top of the desk.

"So, Finn, Rachel told me that you're interested in seeking a loan from us. What's the amount you're looking for?"

He glanced nervously at Rachel (she was supposed to do the talking, remember) but she only pursed her lips and nodded at him encouragingly. "Well, I was thinking somewhere in the neighborhood of two thousand dollars. We have to rent studio time and then find a producer who knows something about mixing or engineering or whatever it's called. Then we have to actually manufacture the CD's. Granted, we're only talking a minimal number but still, if we're going to do this then I want to do it right."

Artie glanced at Rachel and then smiled. "Well, I only asked for a number but tell me more about what you plan on doing with the money."

Finn gulped. He hadn't realized he'd rambled. This was why Rachel was supposed to talk. "Well, we played an open mike night a few days ago and the manager of the house band asked if we would play again. Then he suggested we bring a demo with us because he knew a few people who might be interested. I don't have that kind of money to pay for something as expensive as studio time upfront. So, Rachel suggested we come see you."

He grimaced. The Readers Digest version of their story sounded so uninspired. He needed something to humanize his request. He needed Artie to believe that it was about so much more than just recording a CD.

"When I was on that stage the other night I felt something come alive inside of me that I thought died long ago. Hell, I felt flickers of it the first time I heard Rachel sing, but when we sang on that stage and the people listening _liked_ what they heard I felt like I was living again. I can't let go of that feeling. Not yet. Not when it's so close and I actually have someone who believes in what I'm doing."

His eyes shifted over to Rachel. She had her hands in her lap and she played with a thin silver ring on one of her fingers. She turned her head slightly in his direction and gave him a small smile when their eyes met. He hoped she realized how much he appreciated her encouragement. If it hadn't been for her there was no way he'd even be sitting in that room.

"Listen, I'm going to be honest with you. I'm a simple guy. I live a pretty modest life. I work during the day and I go home at night. There isn't much in my life that's worth being proud of. I don't really know what's going to happen with the CD or if anyone is even going to hear it. But I feel like I have to at least try. If I can make someone else feel an ounce of the way I feel when I play then it will be worth it to me. I'll pay back the money on whatever terms you like…I'll even accept some outrageous interest rate. But I have to do this. And if you can't help me I'll have to figure it out some other way."

Rachel looked up from her lap and turned her attention towards Artie. "You remember…don't you, Artie? What it felt like to be up on that stage and feel the music swell up all around you? Feel like you were transported somewhere else, even if it was only for a few minutes? Please…please help us."

Finn watched Artie intently. He didn't say anything for a long time but when he finally looked up at them there was a hint of a sparkle in his eyes. He sighed. "I remember. I'll help you get the loan."

Rachel looked at him, her lips sucked into her mouth, and reached her hand out to rest against his arm. He could tell that she wanted to clap or shriek or something and was trying her hardest to remain subdued.

"On one condition."

There was a catch, of course there was a catch.

"Anything," Rachel said, her tone a little too animated.

"I want to be in the band. You need a band to play on the demo right? I used to play the bass when I was in high school and in the last few years I've taken it up again." Artie smiled brightly at them. "I think I would be a welcome addition to your ensemble."

Finn glanced down at the hand Rachel still had on his arm. They hadn't really discussed having a band play with them on the demo. He figured it would just be them, the piano, and the guitar. But he didn't really see any reason why they couldn't add a bass line to at least a song or two. It seemed like a simple thing to do in exchange for the money to create the demo. They had to agree to his condition…they couldn't afford not to.

He glanced quickly at Rachel and she nodded. "It's a deal."

The rest of their time at the bank was filled with paperwork and other seemingly meaningless questions but he didn't care. At the end of the day he was going to have two thousand dollars in his bank account, more than he'd ever had before at one time, and he was going to make a demo. He was going to make a CD!

They were actually going to do this.

* * *

She sat behind the piano, her fingers stretched as wide as she could manage so they could strike the desired keys with perfection. She swayed slightly as she played and he sat, mesmerized, unable to do anything else but watch her play.

They'd had a busy afternoon. After a celebratory lunch they'd spent hours on the internet researching the different steps that were involved in recording a demo CD. Finn had called numerous studios to see if they had the time to fit them in short notice while he'd instructed Rachel to contact some friends that she knew through the music store that might be interested in helping them. Finn figured anything they could do to keep their costs down would be in their best interest. Rachel seemed to think her friends would be eager to help.

It was dusk by the time they returned to the music store and they quickly began to work on a new song. Rachel had made the point that if they were going to record a demo they might as well have a few tracks they were proud of. Finn had offered to play her a melody he'd worked on and Rachel presented a sloppily written lyric sheet that she thought might accompany his music handsomely.

Watching Rachel play his music did something to his heart. It thumped wildly in his chest as she played his notes and sang her words…it really was the first time they had done something in a collaborative manner. He felt so strongly at that moment about so many different things. But everything he felt, every opportunity that sat just waiting for him to grasp it, was all because of Rachel. She'd done so much for him in such a short amount of time.

"Why?" He asked her as her fingers slowed against the keyboard. "Why are you helping me?"

She left her fingers against the piano but looked up at him and smiled softly. The sadness was back in her eyes, the sadness he hadn't seen in awhile and it pained him that it was back. He didn't like to see her upset, even though, up until recently, he'd looked almost the same.

"Because the music matters. It matters more than anything." She looked down at her hands and then back up at him. "I may have lost my dream but I'm not going to let you lose yours."

Finn was intrigued. This was the most open she'd been with him since they'd met. He'd been careful to heed Will Schuester's suggestion that he be careful with Rachel and not ask a lot of questions so to have her offer something so personal without being prompted was encouraging.

He wanted to know more.

"You don't have to you know? You don't have to lose your dream."

She smiled sadly and pressed a few notes on the piano. He slid onto the piano bench next to her. He bumped her knee with his but was careful not to go overboard with his affection.

"This is as much for you as it is for me. Sam wants a demo of _our_ song. It's not my dream…it's _our _dream."

Rachel just shook her head. "Rowena is the only dream I have now, Finn, you know that. Making sure she is happy and loved are the only things that matter to me. The second I knew she existed she became my focus. Everything from that day on has been about her."

He knew he shouldn't…it wasn't any of his business…but he had to ask. "Tell me."

She laughed nervously and wiped tears from her cheeks. He hadn't realized she'd been crying. "Tell you what?"

Carefully he reached up and grasped her hand off the piano. He held onto it tightly and rested their enveloped hands on the piano bench between them. She didn't fight against his grasp and he didn't let go.

"Everything."

She sighed and he could sense the hesitation that radiated from her. He expected her to remain closed up like a book but instead she began to speak.

"I've always loved music and I've always loved to sing and perform. I took dance classes from the time I would walk and I'm pretty sure I sang before I ever spoke. When I slept at night I dreamt of Broadway, of fame…all I wanted to do was get out of this town and do something I could be proud of. When I was in high school I always thought going to New York and becoming a star was an inevitability. I didn't have a lot of friends or much of a social life at all but what I lacked in a traditional teenage experience I made up for with my passion and drive. I had blinders on…all I could see was the finish line. The problem with living that way is that you sometimes become so focused on the destination that you forget about the journey."

"What happened then? Did you go to New York?" He felt like a little kid during story time. He hung on every word she spoke and he was dying to find out how her story ended…even if he sort of already knew.

"I went to New York…to a performing arts college called NYADA. For two years I worked my ass off. I kept my grades in general studies high and I put all my energy into theater. I memorized monologue after monologue. I could switch from Juliet to Mrs. Lovett in a heartbeat. I sang until my throat was so sore that I drank nothing but herbal tea all the time. I danced until there were blisters on my feet and bruises all over my body. I auditioned for every student production we had and people _loved_ me. At NYADA I was a star and I knew it was only a matter of time before the whole city, the whole country, knew who I was.

But that all changed when I met a boy. I'd never had a boyfriend in high school so my relationship with him was very naïve in almost every sense. Because I'd never experienced it before I never knew that it was possible to fall so hard and so fast. Pretty soon I craved his attention more than I craved being on that stage. The acceptance that I always thought I wanted came from him and nothing else seemed to matter anymore. I stopped going to class and to my dance and voice lessons so I could spend time with him. My grades dropped and before I even realized what had happened they'd asked me to leave. Apparently a student with the lack of focus I possessed was no longer welcome at NYADA. So I ended up back in Lima at my dad's door, pregnant and alone without much of a future."

"Alone?" Thinking of Rachel pregnant and alone made him want to punch something. He didn't understand how anyone could abandon their responsibility like that. "What happened to the guy?"

She shook her head. "It doesn't matter. The only thing that mattered was that six months after I arrived unceremoniously on my parent's doorstop I had Rowena and she has been the best thing that ever happened to me. I have a lot of regrets in my life but I don't regret her for a second. And of course I have my dad's. I don't like to think about what would have happened to us if they hadn't accepted me and my situation with open arms. And then I found Will and the music store and…now you know everything about me."

Rachel smiled shyly at him and dropped her chin to her chest. She released his hand so she could clutch her own together in her lap.

"I don't know why I'm telling you this stuff. It doesn't matter anymore anyway."

Finn gulped. "It matters to me."

He was overwhelmed. His emotions varied between anger to sadness to optimism. He was so angry at whatever jerk knocked up Rachel and then just abandoned her. He was sad that her ignorance had allowed her to become so enamored by someone that she'd forgotten her dreams. But still she'd seemed to find some sort of peace in the acceptance of her father's and by meeting Will and working at the music store. She was inspiring.

"Stop looking at me like that," she muttered. She nervously tucked a strand of her long

hair behind her ear.

He looked away. He knew he'd been staring but he couldn't help it. Her story was so interesting and he really admired her. It took every ounce of strength he possessed not to pull her into his arms. All he wanted to do was to hold her. He didn't know what the future held but he mentally vowed that as long as Rachel Berry was in his life he would make sure she knew that she wasn't alone. It didn't matter in what capacity, but he would always be there for her. He hoped she knew that.

She was damaged. They both were. It was as simple as that.

"I'm sorry if I pressed, but I…I care about you, Rachel. No one has ever believed in me the way that you do. I hope you know that you can trust me."

She nodded and reached down to squeeze his hand. "No, I actually haven't spoken about any of that since I moved home six years ago. I've kept it bottled up for so long that it feels good to talk about it with someone other than my journal."

Finn glanced at his watch and sighed when he realized how late it had gotten. "It's late. I better go." He stood up and quickly moved to put his jacket on. He moved back towards the piano and latched his guitar case shut. "I think I'm going to take this with me tonight. The sight of it doesn't really repulse me anymore."

Rachel giggled and played un upbeat chord on the piano. "That's the best news I've heard all day."

He lifted the guitar case and started towards the door when her voice calling his name stalled his movement. When he spun back around she was standing to the side of the piano, a marker in her hand. She took a few steps towards him and outstretched her hand towards him. He held his hand out to her in response and she took it in hers and began to write against his right palm.

"I figured it was about time I gave you my number."

He grinned at her and tentatively leaned in and pressed his lips against the side of her head, near her temple. Something had changed between them so quickly and he didn't want to scare her, but he couldn't deny himself what he was feeling.

"I'll call you tomorrow," he promised. He gave her a wink and walked out into the night, the bell above the door signaling his departure.

As he walked along the sidewalk he noticed that he air had warmed considerably. He popped the top button of his jacket and turned his attention to a small bar that sat diagonally across the street from the music store. It's front door was propped open and music drifted out onto the sidewalk. After he looked both ways he jogged across the street. There was a chalkboard propped up against the building that announced it was open mike night. He glanced down at his guitar and then back up at the bar.

He wasn't ready to go home yet.

* * *

Rachel lingered at the piano for longer than she'd planned. She knew it was late and she hated that she would get home after Rowena would already be asleep. She didn't like when she missed kissing her daughter goodnight.

She did a once over of the store before she headed home. After she decided that everything was left in an acceptable state she shrugged her coat onto her shoulders and stepped out onto the sidewalk. She locked the door to the shop and shoved the key deep into her pocket. She had prepared to hurry home as fast as she could when she heard the sound of music coming from the bar across the street.

She paused for a moment. It wasn't just music, it was singing. It was familiar singing.

She walked across the street as though she had been pulled by a magnet. She moved through the open door and stood in the back of the dimly lit bar. On the stage was Finn. He had his guitar slung over his should and he strummed it expertly. His song was much more upbeat than she'd heard him play before and it warmed her heart to watch him play because he wanted to. He'd played at her prompting before but this was the first time since she'd met him that he'd played because he wanted to.

She was so proud of him.

Rachel took a few steps towards the stage as he continued to play. The room really wasn't crowded and she needed to be closer to him. She continued to feel like she was being pulled closer and closer. She'd fought it for so long but she just couldn't anymore. His music was like a rope that connected them together. With each word he sang he pulled her nearer.

He saw her, she knew he did. When she'd stepped into the spotlight that illuminated him on the stage she noticed a slight change in his demeanor. Instead of being focused on various points around the bar his eyes were now solely locked on hers. She gulped at the connection and listened to the words he sang. For the first time she felt like he was singing just to her.

_And I love her so, __I wouldn't trade her for gold_

Rachel's heart burned in her chest. He looked at her like she was some sort of lifeline that was keeping him alive. She could feel him feeding off of her energy and she could tell that he wanted her to feel everything he was singing.

She felt like fainting or flying but she was frozen.

She hadn't felt that way in so, so long and as tempted as she was…as tempting as he was…she couldn't let herself lose focus from what she'd set out to do.

But still. Finn was singing for her…for now…and not for the past.

* * *

Later, Rachel opened the door to her darkened apartment and quickly shut it behind her. Without turning on any of the lights she slid against the door until her bottom hit the floor. She pulled her knees to her chest and let the tears come.

She had a good idea that he felt something for her now. She'd had a suspicion before but after seeing him in the bar, singing just to her, she was fairly certain that there was something there. And to think she'd lied to him. She hated that she'd lied to him. There were things in her past that she couldn't fess up to. Not to him. Not yet.

Except for their first few interactions he had been nothing but open and honest and wonderful to her and she despised herself for not being able to do the same. But at the same time she hadn't expected to feel the things she now felt. It was always supposed to just be about the music and on many levels it still was, but she couldn't ignore the affection she felt for him as it flowed through her veins as if it were blood. He made her feel alive for the first time in so long and she wished it was something she could hold on to and act upon, even though she always knew she couldn't.

She just couldn't love Finn the way he deserved…not without feeling completely guilty about so many things.

But she supposed that was just the way her life seemed to go.


	7. Chapter 7: The Hill

a/n: Thank you again for your feedback, follows, and alerts.

As always, neither Glee or Once belong to me. This is purely for entertainment.

* * *

Chapter 7 - The Hill

It had been a few days since Rachel had appeared at his impromptu open mike session. They'd gotten together a few times since then to practice their growing list of songs and put their studio band together, but neither of them had brought up the obvious moment they'd shared.

Finn couldn't stop thinking about it though.

When he'd left the music store that night and heard the music as it floated across the street he knew he had to play. He needed to stand on that stage and pour every ounce of emotion he felt into that song. It was one he had been working on for awhile and when he'd sat on the piano bench next to Rachel and listened to her story it felt like the different elements of the song suddenly clicked together like puzzle pieces. It was a song about overcoming adversity but remaining humble and finding love in a place you never knew existed. It was undeniably Rachel.

He wanted to tell her but when he tried the words wouldn't come out. He figured she knew though. The expression on her face as she'd watched him sing had spoken the words she was unable to. When he'd gone out into the crowd after his song he had looked for her but she had already gone.

He supposed it was actually a good thing that he couldn't say something he might regret later. Things between him and Rachel had progressed slowly, but he was ok with that. It wasn't as simple as boy meets girl. He had to not only think about Rowena but also about how fragile they both were. He didn't want to risk the chance that he might say or do something that might get him in trouble because he now realized that he needed her in his life. He didn't want to apologize to Rachel again because, unless they were on the same page, he didn't think she would forgive him and he wasn't ready to lose her because of his damn hormones.

It had taken extensive research to find a studio that wasn't entirely a bare boned production space. Most of the places he'd called required that all instruments, musicians, and engineers be brought in…they just provided the basic equipment and space. After a lot of discussion, he and Rachel had decided that they could use as much assistance from professionals as possible. If they were able to find a place that at least had a staff engineer then they would be able to spend more time creating and practicing their songs. That was how they ended up at Crescent Studios. It was a non-descript, inconspicuous sort of place that was run by an enthusiastic redhead named Emma Pillsbury. The first time he and Rachel had met Emma he'd gotten elbowed in the side. So what if he thought the idea that someone with the last name of Pillsbury owned a studio with the word 'crescent' in it was funny. He couldn't be the only person who noticed the pun.

Rachel had seen Emma in the music store in the past but had never gotten the impression that she was very musically inclined. She'd told him that Emma had always asked a lot of very basic questions that anyone familiar with music would already know the answer to. As it turned out she really didn't know much about music at all, but she'd hired a sound engineer who pretty much ran the day to day business. Even though the engineer had a personality that was less than desirable, it was still too good of a situation for them to pass up.

So they sat in the studio, Finn on a stool behind a standing microphone and Rachel behind the keyboard she'd borrowed from Roland's, and made the final preparations on the first track they were going to actually record. They had been joined by both Artie and Rachel's boss, Will, who had assisted with their arrangements and the overall musicality of the different pieces they worked on. So far Will had proved to be an unbelievable asset. Everything they sung or played somehow seemed to sound even better once he offered his opinion or tweaked the melody or key slightly. And Artie hadn't been entirely incorrect when he suggested that their music could benefit from a bass line. While they didn't add one to all of their songs the careful placement seemed to only emphasize the lyrics and highlight their simple harmonies.

It had been a happy collaboration thus far, with the exception of two things…Emma Pillsbury's sound engineer and the backup singer that Rachel insisted was one of her friends, even though she treated everyone like complete garbage.

The sound engineer, Jesse St. James, was pompous, arrogant and conceited. He talked down to them the entire time they were there even though Finn was pretty sure _he_ was the one who paid to use the studio so therefore should be the one to call the shots. Jesse ignored that fact and instead insulted his voice, any of the lyrics he'd written…hell, he even had a problem with the way he held his guitar. His overall attitude grated on him considerably, and he tried his best to tune him out, but when he'd watched him flirt with Rachel he'd almost lost his cool. Rachel had noticed the change in his demeanor and had simply laid her hand against his arm and assured him that she found Jesse just as repulsive as he did.

Santana Lopez was a completely different story. She was loud, she was rude, and for some reason she'd taken an extreme disliking for Finn. She would coo and lavish praise in Rachel's direction but in his? Typically she told him that his voice sounded like a cat in heat and referred to him as 'Gigantor'. When she grew frustrated with him (usually over something stupid) she would throw her hands in the air and yell at him in some weird half English/half Spanish hybrid language. Rachel had promised him on numerous occasions that she would speak with Santana and ask her to back off a little, but to just ignore her in the meantime. She thought their voices blended exceptionally well together and she didn't want to risk angering Santana to the point where she would quit.

On that particular day Santana sat on a stool next to Rachel. She turned the pages of the sheet music when Rachel gave her a firm nod and harmonized along with her so their voices sounded more like one, uniquely powerful voice. Rachel had been right…her higher pitched voice combined perfectly with the deep, grittier sound of Santana's.

Finn had just opened his mouth to compliment them when Santana smirked in his direction and knocked Rachel's sheet music onto the floor. "Seriously, Gigantor, how am I supposed to concentrate on making Rachel sound even more fabulous than she does on her own when you're over there with your mouth flapping open and shut? Honestly, you look like you have a ventriloquist's hand shoved up your ass. Is that what's going on over there? Is that why you're sitting so funny?"

He narrowed his eyes on her. He was just about retaliate when Rachel laid her hand on Santana's shoulder and asked her to pick up the sheet music. She directed an apologetic gaze in Finn's direction and went back to playing the piano.

Will clapped his hands to get their attention. "So why don't we take it from the top? Artie and I will start off with the rhythm and bass line and then Rachel you can come in with the piano and finally Finn with the guitar. Santana, you'll sing along with Rachel during the chorus and try not to overpower her this time. They're called backup vocals for a reason. Sound good to everyone?"

Santana smirked. Finn grinned.

"Can you _all_ please stop wasting my time?" They all turned their attention towards the small room where the soundboard was located. Jesse St. James' voice had come over the speakers, his annoyed tone evident to all.

Finn watched, amused, as Santana narrowed her eyes in Jesse's direction. He knew she liked Jesse even less than she liked him.

"Listen up, St. Jimmy," she barked in his direction. "Sit there and press the buttons on your fancy machine and keep your yapper shut. I'm fairly certain that Emma is expecting the money that our studio time is costing so I would recommend that you let us do things _our_ way and mind your business."

Jesse glared at her and she smiled triumphantly. Obviously he wasn't the biggest Santana fan but he had to admit that she was entertaining when her insults weren't thrown in his direction.

They began the song as practiced. The deep, soothing sound that resonated from Artie's bass guitar blended seamlessly with the rhythm Will tapped against the drum kit. When Rachel played her opening chords on the piano Finn felt his heart flutter in his chest. He attempted to ignore the sensation and began to strum his guitar right on cue. He made eye contact with Rachel as he opened his mouth to sing and when she joined in he couldn't help but think about how right everything felt.

In Finn's opinion the song was pretty much flawless. As they finished, they all sat there silently as they waited for Jesse to confirm that the track had been recorded properly. He would be able to hear any imperfections on his end that might have gone unnoticed to them.

"I think we were good," Rachel whispered. She spun herself around on the piano bench so she faced his direction.

He grinned at her. "Are you kidding? We were amazing."

"Sorry to interrupt the love fest." Jesse's voiced once again came over the loud speaker and they all turned their attention in his direction. "That was almost acceptable. All the instruments sounded great and the vocals were pretty much spot on. But, Santana, I think we're going to have to rerecord your vocals. I'm pretty sure you were sharp."

Santana instantly stood up from her seat next to Rachel and began shouting at Jesse in the unique language that was usually reserved only for him. She had just announced that she was about to go "all Lima Heights" on Jesse when he felt Rachel's hand against his arm and heard her whispered request that they go outside and take a breather.

He agreed.

They slipped on their coats and snuck out of the back door unnoticed.

* * *

They strolled silently through the near-deserted streets. The unusually warm January air had subsided and the expected chill had returned. Finn watched as Rachel pulled her jacket around her a little tighter. They walked fairly close to one another, every so often their arms brushing together. He wondered what she would do if he'd put his arm around her. He hoped she would snuggle into his embrace, maybe even wrap her arm around him in return. But she could just as easily push him away and instantly end the closeness he had begun to enjoy.

For some reason he felt like trying his luck.

Without putting much more thought into it he raised his arm and gently draped it over Rachel's shoulders. She was so much shorter than him that it felt natural and easy. He let his fingers curl around the upper part of her arm as he pulled her against his body. If there was any sort of hesitation on Rachel's part she didn't let it be known. They continued to walk in compatible silence, their gaits matching as they moved down the sidewalk.

He steered them towards a little park that stood at the end of the street. The studio was located right on the edge of downtown Lima and the park marked the transition between the gritty city streets and the sprawling suburbs. Unsurprisingly, the park was pretty much empty, save the occasional runner or dog walker. Finn would have gladly walked forever if it meant Rachel would be pressed up against him as he did so.

"It's going well I think," he whispered.

She bobbed her head. "I think it would be going even better if Santana wasn't constantly threatening to go 'all Lima Heights' on anyone who disagrees with her."

"Yeah what does that mean anyway?"

Rachel laughed. "You know I don't actually know. I've heard her use it for pretty much our entire lives but I've never seen her act on any of her threats. When it comes to Santana her bark is almost always worse than her bite."

He smiled. "I just really hope everyone is taking this as seriously as we are. I guess I could assume Will is involved for the right reasons but I don't know much about Artie and Santana is…well…Santana, so the jury is out on her. Plus we have Jesse giving everyone, especially me, a hard time about everything. I mean, is it really worth it?"

Finn could sense her hesitation, but sighed with happiness as he felt her lift her arm to settle around his waist. He welcomed the additional contact and pulled her a little closer as her arm tightened around him.

"I'll talk to them," she reassured. "If they're not serious they can leave. I'm not going to let anyone screw this up for you." She dropped her hold from his waist and instead took his hand in her own. "For us."

He shifted their hands slightly so their fingers were laced together. The display of affection, even if it was only a slight display of affection, felt so overdue. They'd spent so much time together and up until that point he'd only been able to imagine what it would feel like to have her body pressed against his, their fingers tangled together.

He loved it.

They continued to wind their way through the park and climbed up a small, stone bridge that spanned the width of a rambling creek during the warmer months. At that moment it was frozen for the most part, the brief blast of warmer weather not having lasted long enough to do much defrosting. Their hands swung in-between them as they walked to the middle of the slight arch and they both paused to stare out at the barren park that stretched before them.

Finn continued to hold tightly onto Rachel's hand as they stared off at the distantly setting sun. He couldn't help but try to sneak a look at her every now and then. Her hair had been woven into a loose braid that hung over one of her shoulders, but the brisk January breeze had blown a few pieces loose so they flapped against her cheeks gently. Deciding to see if his luck would continue, he reached over and tucked one of the loose strands of hair behind Rachel's ear. He noticed that she smiled softly and angled her body ever-so-slightly in his direction. He tucked the same piece of hair behind her ear when it began to blow in the wind again and then traced his fingers against the outline of her face. She was so beautiful. He wanted to memorize every inch of her.

Rachel turned her head towards his hand and pressed her cheek into his palm. She stayed that way for a long moment and then looked up at him, her big brown eyes blinking at him softly.

"These have been the strangest couple days I've ever had," he said breathlessly. "I don't know what I did to deserve someone like you in my life. You're just _so_ good. I really don't know what would have happened to me if I hadn't met you. I definitely wouldn't have ever touched my guitar again and then none of this would've happened. Hell, I take back what I said about Santana. I'll even put up with her bullshit if it means I get to keep everything else too."

Rachel reached up and grabbed the hand that he still had pressed against her cheek. "You would have been fine without me. And I don't believe for one minute that you would have given up on music for good. It's too imbedded in who you are. You don't even realize it."

He smiled at her. He realized it now. He realized a lot of things he hadn't before.

Rachel dropped their hands so they once again hung between them and looked off to the horizon. The last bit of the sun dropped into hiding and she looked up at the sky for a long minute. He wondered what she was thinking about.

"Ani ohevet otcha."

He listened to the words that she quietly mumbled in the direction of the sky but had no idea what they meant. "Is something wrong?"

She dropped her gaze from the sky and turned back in his direction. "Oh, no…it's nothing. It's just an old Hebrew saying that means it looks like rain. My daddy uses it all the time so I guess I didn't even pay any attention and it just slipped out."

He tried to make sure she didn't notice the confused expression that spread across his features. It didn't look like it was going to rain at all. In fact, as he looked up he noticed the bright sprinkling of stars in the sky above them.

"Listen," Rachel said, flustered all of the sudden. "I'm going to go back to the studio and make sure everyone is on the same page. Since we have to record three more songs tomorrow I should probably have a talk with everyone before then."

"I could come with you…"

"No," she said quickly. "No, it's fine. Why don't you head home and we'll just meet up back at the studio in the morning. We have a big day tomorrow so you'll need to be at the top of your game."

Before he could say anything else she had dropped his hand hurried off the bridge. "See you tomorrow, Finn."

He stood and watched as she jogged back through the darkening park. "Bye."

He watched her until she disappeared and after a few minutes he'd shoved his hands deep into his pockets and begun the long walk back to his truck, which, of course, was at the studio. He wished he could do anything else but think about Rachel but she had spread through his head and his heart like a wildfire. Things had been going _so _well and he wasn't really sure what had changed. They'd been standing on the bridge, then she'd mumbled that weird phrase in Hebrew, and then she was gone.

He'd retraced their time together since they'd left the studio but hadn't come across any definitive thing that might have changed whatever unsaid thing they had going on between them.

Regardless, she obviously wanted to be alone and he was going to respect her wishes. But it was inevitable that he would spend the rest of his night awash in confusion.

* * *

Rachel had returned to Crescent Studios as she'd promised Finn she would. She had arrived prepared to speak with her friends about the whole recording process. She had made a mental list of bullet points that she planned to discuss with the group but to her dismay the studio was empty. The only person who remained was Jesse and he was the last person she felt like dealing with at that moment.

Luckily he must have felt the same way. She'd asked him if he would mind if she stayed awhile and played the borrowed keyboard. She was ridiculously stressed out and it was the only thing that would make her forget the way Finn's fingers had felt and the way it seemed like he had a special smile reserved only for her. She was overwhelmed and the piano was the only thing she wanted to focus on. Jesse locked up the room that held the soundboard and gave her explicit instructions to pull the door shut behind her on her way out.

Finally alone, she slid behind the keyboard and began to play. Her notes were furious at first…aggressive and loud. She turned the volume on the keyboard up as high as she could and played with her eyes tightly shut, the music numbing the intolerable thoughts that radiated through her mind. Tears streamed down her face and her heart literally ached.

She'd never felt anything like the way she felt about Finn. She couldn't deny it anymore. The feelings were there and they were real. She'd known him for such a short amount of time but she felt connected to him in ways she hadn't even known were possible. Even though she'd attempted to resist, every fiber of his being seemed to pull her to him. It frustrated her and she hated herself for the way she'd behaved because she knew he felt it too.

Her crying ceased slightly as the melody shifted from anger and frustration to sadness and longing. She couldn't think of one thing she wanted more than to feel Finn's mouth against hers, his hands pushing up her sweater to rest against her stomach. She wanted to push herself against him and to feel every inch of him against her body.

But she couldn't.

Finally all cried out, Rachel let her fingers glide lazily against the keyboard. She pushed aside the overwhelming sorrow in her chest and began to sing. The words spilled out of her, almost like a prayer, and she wished that somehow she could figure out what she was supposed to do. She was so desperate for answers that she didn't know what to do anymore. It was getting progressively difficult to be around Finn and not act on all the things she felt.

_And I know that in the morning  
__I'll have to let you go  
and you'll be just a man  
once I used to know  
__But for these past few days  
__someone I don't recognize  
This isn't all my fault  
When __will you realize?_

She finished her song and covered her face with her hands. The frustration had not dissipated. Perhaps if she sat Finn down she could explain. Maybe she could figure out how to be honest with him about her situation and he would even understand.

Distracted by a sudden sound in what she thought was a deserted studio her attention was immediately drawn towards the door. She hoped it was Jesse, that perhaps he'd forgotten something, but she couldn't deny what she somehow already knew. It took a minute for her eyes to adjust but when he stepped into the small sliver of light that the moon provided her breath immediately caught in her throat.

Finn. He'd heard her song. He'd seen her cry.

He knew there was a problem.

And she no longer knew what she was supposed to do.

* * *

a/n: For those wondering, 'Ani ohevet otcha' is Hebrew for 'I love you'.


	8. Chapter 8: When Your Mind's Made Up

a/n: Thank you again for your feedback, follows, and alerts.

As always, neither Glee or Once belong to me. This is purely for entertainment.

* * *

Chapter 8 - When Your Mind's Made Up

Rachel climbed the steps in her building slowly. She felt like she was climbing a mountain. Each step took an overwhelming amount of effort and she was so exhausted, both mentally and physically.

She opened the door to the apartment was wasn't surprised to find it dark again. This was the third time that week that she'd gotten home late enough that she'd missed bedtime. Things with the studio had kept her so busy and she hated that she hadn't been there to kiss Rowena goodnight.

She lifted her canvas tote onto the dining room table and attempted to erase the past few hours from her memory. She was such a coward. After she'd realized that Finn had heard her song he'd tried to talk to her, to ask her about things she wasn't ready to speak about, and she'd just run away. She didn't know how to be around Finn and not want to be with him anymore. She'd left the way she had because she needed to put as much space between them as she could. Just seeing him in the doorway had triggered the magnetic force that she always felt around him. At that moment she was too vulnerable, too fragile, and she knew without a shadow of a doubt that she would have done something stupid had she stayed. So instead she'd left, with a hasty order to make sure he locked the door when he departed.

Now the only thing she wanted to do was curl up in bed with Rowena and try to pretend like her day hadn't ended so horribly.

Before she shuffled down the hallway to join her daughter in their room, Rachel lifted the stack of mail from the table and began to sort through it. Most of the envelopes were bills that she wasn't exactly sure how she was going to pay, but one, tattered, off-white envelope caught her eye. She separated it from the stack and noticed that it was addressed to her. The handwriting was sloppy and slightly smudged, but she would recognize that handwriting anywhere. She opened it quickly and the confused tears returned to her eyes as she began to read.

_Rachel,  
__I know it's been awhile and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'd always heard that war changes you and I never thought I'd be that guy, but I guess I am. There was a lot of tension between us when I talked to you last and I thought it was for the best if I gave you time to sort that out. To be honest, I needed that time too. I know it's not easy and that you've had to sacrifice a lot of things for me but don't think for a moment that I don't appreciate it. Someday I'm going to make all of this up to you. I promise.  
__I'll call soon.  
Kiss Rowena for me.  
__I love you.  
__-Bub_

She found herself smiling softly. One of her already shed tears dripped off her face and smeared across his signature. She wasn't surprised at all that he'd signed her nickname for him rather than his own name and she found it to be rather endearing. She did miss him, of course she missed him, but she didn't know if things would ever be the same between them again. There had been too much time, too much distance, and she assumed that the more time that passed the more she would continue to feel that way. For a long time she'd missed him so badly, but that sorrow had lessened to a dull ache and eventually to a point where she almost didn't feel it at all anymore.

It wasn't like she didn't think about him. He was there every time she looked at Rowena. While their daughter resembled her so much in so many ways there was a sparkle in her eye and dimple on her cheek that were distinctly him. Rowena was undoubtedly a Berry since she'd grown up in a Berry-fied household, but there was something in her personality that was so obviously inherited from her father.

Rachel especially found herself thinking about him when she was with Finn. She was at the point with Finn where she was feeling all of those things that had once been reserved only for him. She was even more confused now and the letter hadn't helped at all.

She tucked the letter into her canvas bag. The last thing she wanted was for one of her dad's to stumble upon it. They already questioned her relationship with Finn (whatever relationship that may be) and she knew that if they saw the letter they would just have more questions for her. Frankly she didn't want to deal with it. She didn't want to explain why she felt the way she did or why she'd chosen to handle things the way she had. She was an adult after all, but sometimes her parents still had the uncanny ability to make her feel very much like a child.

* * *

It had been another sleepless night for Finn. He'd realized that night that his ability to instantly remember song lyrics was actually both a blessing and a curse. The words he'd heard Rachel sing echoed through his memory and haunted him like a bad dream, although he was only slightly scared. Her lyrics had carried a lot of weight and implied a lot of things that he thought he'd read correctly but didn't want to assume. There was something there, something quite powerful, and he had no idea how he was supposed to proceed.

He flipped onto his side and covered his head with the pillow. He figured he might as well get himself up and moving; they had three more songs they were supposed to record that morning and then Sam was supposed to meet them in the afternoon for a first listen. He attempted to focus on the task at hand and climbed out of bed to start his day.

When he arrived at the studio a short time later he was dismayed to already find Rachel behind the piano. His head dropped and he instantly tensed up. He had hoped that he would have some time to sort through some of his music on his own, desperate for the distraction, but he supposed he had to confront Rachel about whatever it was that had transpired between them the night prior. He didn't want to push her, but there were some things they needed to discuss.

"Hey," she said quietly when she'd noticed he walked in.

"Hi."

Finn strode across the room and gathered a stack of papers that sat on the table in the corner into his hands. He leafed through them and glanced at the sheet music for the songs they were recording that morning. He tried his hardest to not pay attention to Rachel, to keep his memories of last night tucked somewhere deep inside, but as he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye he couldn't.

Her hair was in two ponytails that day, one over each of her shoulders. It made her look younger somehow, especially with her face relatively free of makeup. She looked so small as she sat behind the keyboard, one leg folded under the other. Her loose, black sweater hung off one of her shoulders and she had a pencil tucked behind her ear. He fought the immediate urge to go to her. He wanted to press his lips against her cheek and feel her smooth skin against his mouth. He wanted to tell her that it was ok if she was scared because he was too.

But instead he stood there and watched her.

"So I think we're on track to be relatively problem free on these last few tracks," she said. She didn't even look up at him as she spoke. "Hopefully Santana will be in a better mood today."

Really? There wasn't going to be any mention of the prior night? She wasn't going to acknowledge that he'd obviously heard her singing at all? It didn't surprise him, not really at least. He wanted so badly to be able to go about his business and pretend like last night hadn't happened. He wished he could just magically forget what it felt like to have her body pressed up against his or how their fingers had entwined together so perfectly. But he couldn't. Somehow she had become every one of his thoughts and part of his dreams. He couldn't just forget.

"I liked your song last night," he said quietly. Sure it was a cautious statement but he figured he had to begin somewhere.

"Finn…"

"It touched me," he continued as he placed his hand across his heart. "Right here. I haven't felt anything but pain for so long but you…you make me feel alive."

Her eyes blinked at him but it was obvious that she still had her guard up.

"You're so talented, Rachel. I know you had a dream that you gave up a long time ago but all of this…Lima, Ohio…this doesn't have to be it for you. Please don't settle because you're scared of what else is out there. I know you and you're easily the most resilient person I've ever met. You just…you light up a whole room and I shouldn't be the only person who sees that. Everyone needs to see the Rachel that I see."

A single tear slid down her cheek but she reached up and quickly brushed it away.

"I have a good feeling about this demo. I think we have something that hasn't been done before. Maybe it's too early to feel that way but I'm really starting to think this is my chance…_our_ chance." He took a deep breath. "We need to get out of Lima. If I really want to be serious about this and have an actual chance of doing something with my life for the first time ever then I need to get out of this town. We need to get out of here and really push my demo…our demo. We need to go to New York. California. Anywhere but here. Me, you, and Rowena."

She didn't say anything. She just continued to sit on her stool, tears flowing down her cheeks a little easier now. Her hands were clasped in her lap and he wished she would just look at him.

In two quick bounds he was across the studio and on his knees in front of Rachel. He pulled her hands into his and gazed up at her face, which she kept trying to hide in her shoulder.

"I can't stop thinking about you," he confessed. "I close my eyes and I see your face. Your music is engrained in my heart. When I sing now, even if they're songs I've been singing for years, every song is for you."

She bit her bottom lip and locked her eyes on his. She had just opened up her mouth to speak when there was a commotion at the door and it swung open to reveal Santana already arguing with Artie. Will trailed behind them. Finn instantly popped up from the floor. He didn't feel ready to explain to anyone why he'd been on his knees in front of Rachel. He needed to keep everything as professional as possible (at least for a few more hours) so they could finish the recording.

Jesse entered the room with the soundboard shortly after and hurried them along. They quietly discussed the songs they were about to record and exchanged a few last minute notes and suggestions before they all took their respective places and Jesse announced that the recording was about to begin.

Before he strummed the opening chord to the first song they would be playing Finn gave Rachel a long, intense glance. He could tell by her expression that she felt what he had been trying to convey. She didn't smile or nod or give him any sort of physical indication that they were, in fact, on the same page but she stared at him with overwhelming intensity and at least that was something.

He played the chord louder and began the song.

His eyes never left Rachel's.

* * *

It took over four hours to finish the recording but as the morning turned to afternoon Jesse announced that they were completely finished. The whole group of them let out a collective whoop as Jesse placed the demo CD into Finn's hand. Will produced a bottle of champagne from his bag and they toasted to their success. It had been a rough couple of days but they'd somehow gotten through it and accomplished what they'd set out to do.

Finn was amazingly proud. He couldn't remember the last time he'd actually been proud of himself and it was a wonderful feeling. Knowing that Rachel had been the one that had encouraged and helped him since she'd convinced him that his music mattered was just the cherry on top of the sundae.

She didn't pull away when he put his hand against her elbow and slowly pulled her in the direction of the door. They stepped onto the small back step at the studio that overlooked a thicket of bare oak trees. Rachel instantly shoved her hands deep into her pockets but Finn leaned in and placed his hands around the upper part of her arms. He rubbed his hands soothingly against the thin black material of her sweater. He did it partly to warm her up, partly to calm her down, but mostly because he wanted to touch her.

She didn't fight against his touch so he took another step in her direction and pulled her against his chest. She fit in his arms perfectly and he loved that he could completely envelop her in his embrace and rest his chin against her head. It was almost like he could wrap himself around her and he felt like he could protect her.

"We did it," he whispered against her hair.

He could feel her shake her head underneath his chin. "No…_you_ did it."

He leaned back slightly so he could study Rachel's face. Her eyes were focused in his direction but she looked sad and distracted and almost guilty. He removed one of his hands from her back and reached out to trace the outline of her face. He cupped his hand against her cheek and lightly ran his thumb back and forth across her lips. Her lips parted slightly under his touch and he found that his gaze shifted between her eyes and her mouth.

"Why are we fighting this?" This breathed.

He was just about to press his lips against hers when the door started to open and they quickly broke apart. He smoothed his hand over his hair and Rachel had spun around and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Hey…you guys," Will said slowly. It was instantly obvious that he realized he'd interrupted something. "Um. Sam's here. He wants to listen to the demo with both of you."

Finn was torn. On one hand he wanted to stay outside and see if Rachel was going to let him kiss her but he wanted _so _badly to see what Sam thought of the demo they'd put so much time into. But Rachel had clearly made the decision for them. Without a second thought she walked towards the door that Will still held open and disappeared back into the studio.

Finn walked towards the door, his head hung low, and Will patted him on the shoulder as he crossed the threshold.

Back inside, he noticed that they had far less company than they had before. Santana had already gone and Artie was in the process of packing up his electric bass guitar. Jesse was still in the room with the soundboard, but he tinkered with something and didn't pay them any attention. Will retreated to the small table in the corner of the room and began writing something down in a notebook but Finn really didn't mind if he stayed. He had been so supportive of Rachel since she'd arrived back in Lima and it would be good if he was there to hear her get some good news for once (hopefully).

"So," Sam began. He sat with Rachel behind the keyboard. "I have to admit that I'm extremely curious to hear what you guys sound like recorded. I already spoke with a guy I know and I told him how refreshing your sound was that night in the bar. If the demo sounds half as good as you guys did live then I think he'll be extremely interested."

Rachel looked at him for the first time since Will had interrupted them. She had a big smile across her face and it was obvious that she knew exactly what he did…they were gold.

She stood from her seat and flounced over to the small boom box that was set up on the table where Will sat. The CD had already been placed inside and she pressed play enthusiastically. The sounds of their opening song floated through the room and he sat down in one of the folding chair and just breathed. For the first time since they'd started recording he could really enjoy the music. It was almost surreal to hear their voices coming from the speakers and they'd been right…they sounded amazing.

It had been their decision to keep the production on the light side and he really didn't think that their recording sounded that much different than they sounded live. He thought that had been a good thing…he hoped it would be a good thing.

When the first song finished playing Sam asked Rachel to hit the pause button. The room was filled with an uncomfortable silence as they waited for their jury to deliver their verdict.

Sam's eyes shifted between both Finn and Rachel. Will still had his head buried in his notebook but it was obvious he was still listening as well.

Sam's face broke out into a wide smile. "It's perfect."

Finn was instantly out of his seat and with a few quick steps he was across the room and had lifted Rachel into his arms. He spun her around and around and when he finally set her down she stared up at him, her eyes sparkling.

"So where do we go from here?" He asked, his voice laced with optimism and his arm still wrapped around Rachel. "What happens next?"

"Well, I'm going to take a copy with me if that's ok and overnight it to the guy I know in New York. If he likes it as much as I do then I'm sure we'll hear something from him soon. So until then, we wait. Good job though, you guys. You should both be really proud of what you've done. I'm even more impressed than I was before."

They chatted for a few more minutes and then Sam thanked them, took a few copies of the demo, and left the studio. Will followed closely behind him. He was interested in learning more about Sam's connections and thought that maybe he'd be interested in hearing some of his students perform. To Will, every opportunity was a good opportunity.

Finn and Rachel were alone again, Jesse having relocated sometime during their listening session. They had separated during their goodbyes to Will and Sam and the tension in the room was palpable. Rachel scuffed her shoe against the carpeted floor and Finn sat behind the piano. He began to pluck out the only song he knew, 'Heart and Soul'.

"'Heart and Soul'?" She said with a smile. "Really?"

He pressed a few random keys on the piano. "Rachel, are we going to talk about this or not?"

She pushed a piece of hair behind her ear. "Talk about what?"

He sighed and pushed the frustration as far away as he could. "About us. About everything that's happened. About how we feel."

Rachel stayed in the corner and tried to hide her face behind one of her hands. "Finn…"

"No…don't try to talk yourself out of this. I know this isn't one sided. There is _something_ between us that I can't get past. I feel like I've been completely open about how I feel and every time I confront you, you just close up! But then I heard you play that song last night and I felt like you were singing for me. Was I crazy? Tell me I was crazy."

Rachel brushed away tears that had appeared on her face. She knotted her hands together and shook her head. "You're not crazy, Finn."

"Then what is it? Tell me why we continue to play this ridiculous game. It's obvious to me now that you came into my life for a reason. You made me love music again and you opened the door to the prospect of a future that I didn't think I had before. I get through my days now because of you! Give me one good reason why I should just let this go?"

She dropped her hands and turned to face him, tears now flowed freely down her face. "Because I…I lied to you!"

He was frozen. She'd lied to him? What about? What could she have possibly lied about?

"Wha…wha…why? What? What did you lie about?" He felt like he'd been kicked in the stomach. He could barely form a complete sentence.

Rachel was silent.

He stood up from the keyboard and walked across the room towards her. He reached for her hands and held onto them tightly. He _knew_ Rachel. He'd gotten to know her so well so quickly and he couldn't imagine what she'd lied to him about. Sure it had taken awhile to get her to open up about her past and her life in general but he didn't think there was anything she could say that would make him change his mind about how he felt.

He loved her. God, he _fucking _loved her. He loved the way her eyes sparkled and how when she smiled, really smiled, it would reach all the way to those eyes. He loved the way she believed in him and refused to let him give up on the dream he didn't even need to tell her he had. He loved how deeply she cared about her parents and how much she loved her daughter. She was such an amazing person and he didn't know how he could continue on without her.

"Don't be afraid," he whispered. He dropped one of her hands and smoothed his hand against her hair. "It would be so easy. Don't you see?"

"Finn," she whispered, a sound of warning in her voice. She reached up and grabbed the hand that he held against her head. "We can't."

He shook his head. "No. Don't say that."

She frowned slightly and gnawed on her bottom lip. "I lied," she said again.

He refused to believe her. Anything she'd lied about couldn't have been a big deal. Rachel was too good to lie about anything that would change how he felt about her.

"Then just tell me," he said, a little more force to his voice. He had grown tired of her delays. "Just fucking tell me."

"Rowena's father," she croaked, the tears falling even heavier now. "I told you that he abandoned me, abandoned us, but that's not true…not really at least."

"What do you mean?" He felt anger bubbling up inside of him but he wanted her to continue so he remained silent.

"He's in the army," she whispered. "And he's my husband."

He was floored.

Ok…so there was one thing that could shock him.


	9. Chapter 9: The Moon

a/n: Hi everyone! I really appreciated your kind comments on the last chapter so here is chapter 9 nice and quick! There is only one chapter left (after this one) so I hope you enjoy! Thank you again for all of your support.

As always, I don't own Glee or Once. This is just for entertainment.

* * *

Chapter 9 - The Moon

_Married_.

The word echoed through his mind. Rachel was married. She was someone's _wife_. He felt like the room was spinning and everything he'd trusted, everything he'd believed in, everything had been turned upside down. He wasn't sure if he wanted to scream or he wanted to throw up. He felt like he'd been kicked in the gut and had the wind knocked out of him.

"Why?" He whispered. "Why didn't you tell me."

Rachel had tears on her face and she wiped them away before she spoke. "I wish I had an easy answer for you."

Finn rubbed his face with his hand and then slid it back over his hair. He wanted to ask her a million questions. He wanted to know why she let him touch her. He wanted to know why she looked at him in that way that made his soul squeeze. He wanted to know why she'd put so much effort into helping him record the demo. He wanted to know why she'd even bothered him in the first place.

On the other hand, he had to admit that certain things made more sense now. So many times he felt like he finally had Rachel in his grasp but then things always seemed to end as quickly as they'd begun. Now he got it. It was obvious why she never acted on any of the things that he believed she apparently felt…her _husband_.

"I haven't seen him in three years," she said gently. "He's a colonel in the army and is on an extended tour of duty in Afghanistan."

"How did it happen?" He asked. "You said you got kicked out of NYADA. Did you? Did that even happen? Has anything you told me even been true?"

He didn't care if he was rude. She'd lied to him and he wanted to know it all…every rotten detail. He'd been so compassionate towards her in regards to her dissolved dreams and current situation. He didn't know how much he could even believe anymore.

"Most of what I told you is true," she said softly. "But I didn't get kicked out of NYADA…I withdrew. My husband is a few years older than me and had joined the army while I was a sophomore. I found out I was pregnant right before he was supposed to be deployed for the first time and we decided to get married. It was important to him to make sure we were officially husband and wife before he left so he could ensure that Rowena and I would be taken care of. I couldn't take care of a baby and stay in school so we moved back to Lima." She wiped more tears from her face. "He came home only once…when Rowena was three. I had expected everything to feel exactly as it had when he'd left but everything was different. War had hardened him and it was like there was a big, brick wall between us. I'd hardened myself…I was no longer the child who had looked at him with big eyes and been ready to depend on him for everything. Sacrificing my dream and raising Rowena on my own had made me stronger and even more independent than I'd been in the past. Maybe I'd just grown up but I felt resentment towards him. Even though I knew he was a hero in so many ways I felt abandoned. Regardless, things were never the same between us after we were married. I've never felt like I've had a marriage even though I've been married for almost seven years."

He glared at her. He wanted to sympathize with her…really he did…but the word 'married' just kept flashing in his head.

* * *

Rachel watched him. For long moments she sat there and watched him. She noticed the way he continued to squint his eyes in disgust and frustration. She hated that it had come to this. If she'd just been better at controlling her emotions then maybe she never would have found herself in this situation. But, her feelings aside, she couldn't help the way Finn felt. It wasn't like she'd tried to make him care about her the way he obviously did.

"So…what? What happens now?" His voice had been elevated before but now he was yelling. He was furious. "Am I just supposed to forget that I met you? I guess I'm just supposed to go along with the status quo and not think of you every time I sing. I'm supposed to forget that you're the only reason I'm here right now. How am I supposed to do any of those things? I can't _breathe_ without feeling you and now you tell me that I can't feel the way I do about you when you let it get this far in the first place!"

Rachel felt terrible. She dropped her gaze to her lap and fiddled with her fingers. She was completely embarrassed. How was she supposed to explain to Finn that it was _him_ she was in-love with…not her husband. She supposed (when she really thought about it) that she hadn't been in-love with her husband in a very long time. However it was very important to her to make sure he knew that there was someone at home waiting for him while he was at war…that was the primary reason the marriage hadn't dissolved already. Somehow she rationalized that if they stayed married it would give him something to cling to. Maybe it had worked…their marriage definitely lacked much of what a real marriage consisted of but he was still alive. That was something.

She wanted to promise Finn her future. She wanted to tell him that as soon as her husband returned for good and was able to get himself settled they would discuss that somehow they had grown apart. She still loved him and cared about him but the love she felt for him was so different from the love she felt for Finn.

"When does he come home next?"

Her head shot up at his question. She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. He was supposed to come home six months ago but he extended his tour instead. He likes being in the army…finds it gratifying…that's his focus. I'm sure the next time he comes home it will just be for a visit anyway. He's never been the kind of person to settle down. I don't see that starting now." She laced her fingers together. "I don't think I want that anymore."

Finn stared at her. She could feel his eyes burning through her and she wanted nothing more than to run into his arms and press her face against his neck. She wanted to feel his arms close around her and for him to tell her that somehow they would figure this out.

She knew that wasn't going to happen.

"What about Rowena?" He asked.

Her heart burned. It was obvious that her daughter had touched him on some level and it really resonated with her that he even thought to ask about her. "What about her?"

"Does she know about him? You said he never even saw her until she was three."

Rachel bobbed her head. "She's seen pictures and we always talked about him when she was really little. Unsurprisingly she asked a ton of questions. But she doesn't have any sort of bond with him. When they met it was like they were two strangers. After he left she never asked when she would be able to see him again or expressed any sort of interest in him at all. She knows she has a father and that he is off helping to keep us safe but she's never had a daddy. That's why she introduced herself to you as a Berry. When she was born her last name was hyphenated, but over time his name fell by the wayside. And I was the same way. And it shouldn't be like that."

They sat in silence for a long while.

"Well I don't know what I'm supposed to do now," he said quietly. "Part of me wants to scream…part of me wants to laugh. But every part of me still wants you and I'm not sure what to do with that."

Her heart lurched. At that moment she hated everything that kept her away from him. If it wasn't for the fact that she'd made a promise a long time ago she would've done anything he asked or gone anywhere he wanted to go. It was so easy now for her to see her obvious connection with Finn and she hated that (at least for now) there was no possibility of a future.

"I'm sorry, Finn," she breathed. There really didn't seem to be anything else left to say.

He stared at her, his eyes cold. "I'm sorry too."

* * *

A few hours later Finn was back at his apartment. He sat on the couch with his feet propped up on the coffee table and his guitar across his lap. He'd closed the blinds on his windows and left the television off so he sat in relative silence, alone with his thoughts. He strummed the guitar lazily and let the last few hours replay in his mind. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been so hurt. Not even after everything with _her_ happened. The fact that Rachel had kept something so important from him left him with a continual nauseous feeling. He felt so…broken.

He didn't have a problem per se with the fact that Rachel was married. It had happened long before they had known the other existed and there wasn't anything he could do about that. What continued to make him sick was the fact that she had seemingly played along with the fact that he was interested in her. His advances had been obvious and she'd had every opportunity to push him away or _tell _him about her situation. But instead she'd gone along with everything and that killed him.

He had been so elated about the completion of the demo only to have Rachel's secret come out shortly after. The pull on his emotions was grating to say the least. It completely sucked.

His cell phone began to ring from its spot in his bedroom and he threw his head back against the couch. He didn't feel like talking to anyone…especially Rachel…but he still got up and walked in the direction of where the shrill ringing came from. He lifted it to his ear and muttered a quick hello, prepared to hang up just as quickly if he heard her voice.

"Finn?"

It was a guy's voice. He was in the clear.

"Yeah?"

"Oh…hey. It's Sam. Is this a bad time?"

"Oh, no it's cool." Finn cradled the phone between his cheek and his shoulder and walked back towards the living room where he sunk back onto the couch. "What's up?"

"I hope you don't mind me calling you on your cell. Rachel gave me the number."

He gritted his teeth at the mention of her name. "It's fine."

"Anyway, I wanted to give you a call and let you know that I have good news. My guy heard your song and he digs it. He wants to meet you as soon as you can get yourself to New York."

He was pretty sure he was frozen. Bits and pieces of what Sam had just told him buzzed around in his head and he had trouble grasping onto anything specific that had been said. Had he heard Sam correctly? Somebody liked his song? They wanted to meet with him? New York City?

"Finn? Did you hear what I said?"

He shook his head to clear his thoughts and began to nod even though Sam couldn't see him (he cursed himself for being continually _awful_ when it came to phone etiquette). "Um…yeah. But I thought you said you were going to overnight the CD to the guy you know. It's only been a few hours since I saw you. How could this have happened so quickly?"

"I ripped the track from the CD and uploaded it so I could email it to him," Sam explained. "I listened to the opening track in my car on the way home from Crescent and I couldn't wait for him to hear it. I just had this feeling that the second he heard it he would know he had to meet with you and, well, that's what happened."

It was happening. Everything he and Rachel had talked about, everything he'd dreamed about, was becoming a reality. He wanted to call her and tell her that they'd done it. The hardest part was always getting someone to open the door and even that had happened much easier than he'd anticipated. When he discounted everything else he'd been so lucky to have met her on the sidewalk outside that crap bar…have her force him to play that guitar again…teach him her song, which had become their trademark…introduce him to Sam who had become an invaluable resource…help him secure the financing that they needed to record the demo. The list went on and on and it was only then that he remembered he was on his own now. Everything had happened because of Rachel and she was the only person he wanted to tell…and the one person he couldn't.

"I'll tell you what," Sam began. "Book yourself on a flight for tomorrow, if you can, and I'll call my buddy and let him know. If he's half as excited about your music as he sounded on the phone then I'm sure he'll make time to meet you whenever."

Finn scribbled the instructions on the corner of an old newspaper that sat on his coffee table. He thanked Sam one final time and said goodbye with the promise to call him back once his travel plans were finalized. As soon as his phone was on the coffee table he had his computer on his lap and began browsing the internet for deals on airfare. He was excited for a moment as he pulled up a few different sites and began to compare prices. Then reality hit him like a ton of bricks.

He couldn't go without Rachel. He _needed_ her with him. This dream was so very much their dream and the thought of going to New York without her made him want to call Sam back and tell him he wasn't interested at all.

Before he could really think about what he was doing he'd pulled his phone back into his hand and dialed Rachel's already memorized number. As soon as she'd said hello he blurted out that he had to see her.

He could hear her sigh through the phone. "Why, Finn? What else is there to say that we haven't said already?"

He was prepared to stand his ground. There was no way he was going to have this conversation over the phone. "I need to see you."

She didn't argue against his request. He hoped that on some level, despite everything else, that she wanted to see him too. "Ok," she agreed. "Rowena and I are at the apartment. My dad's are out for a late dinner so why don't you come here. It would be easier than me having to bring her along or find a sitter on a moment's notice."

"Sure." He hoped he didn't sound too eager. The thought of not only seeing Rachel again but also her identical daughter made his heart soar. There was something about that little girl that he'd immediately taken a liking too. He assumed that a majority of the appeal was that she was Rachel's and that was enough for him.

"Ok. See you soon."

The line went dead and he placed his phone, along with his computer, back on the table. He didn't want to book his ticket yet…especially when there was still the slightest chance that Rachel might want to be sitting beside him.

* * *

He jogged most of the way to Ravine Street. His feet made a steady rhythm against the sidewalk that mirrored that word that throbbed in his head. _Mar-ried. Mar-ried. Mar-ried_. He continued to fight an escalating battle as he neared her apartment. On one hand he was easily in-love with her…obviously even. He was pretty sure Will had noticed it before he even noticed it himself and he was positive he wore his feelings on his face, especially when he was around her. He wanted to climb to the highest floor of the tallest building in downtown Lima and shout how much he, Finn Hudson, was in-love with Rachel Berry. He wanted the whole world to know.

_Married_. It was almost like every time he got lost in the fantasy that was him and Rachel his subconscious automatically kicked in and reminded him that she wasn't his. Rachel seemed like the type of girl who didn't break a promise and he certainly didn't expect her to ignore the vow she'd made to her husband just so he could get what he wanted. But some part of him didn't care. He was tempted to do whatever it took to convince her that they belonged together…even if he knew it was wrong.

He continued back and forth with his mental battle as he neared her building. The front door was unlocked and he climbed the steep stairs two at a time as he made his way to the third floor. He knocked three times and waited.

"Who is it, please?" A child's voice asked.

He smiled, Rowena's face flashing in his mind. "It's Finn Hudson."

He could hear her having a conversation with someone else (presumably Rachel) behind the door and after another minute it swung open. Rowena hopped back and forth in the foyer, her hair woven into a braided headband and a smile plastered across her face. She wore a long sleeved, purple cotton dress and striped, multi-colored leggings. Her feet were bare and her tiny toenails were painted bright pink. She was the most adorable thing Finn had ever seen.

He crouched down in front of the child so they were at eye level with one another. "Why hello again, Miss Berry. How are you this evening?"

She giggled and fingered the tiny, gold star necklace that she'd pulled from underneath her dress. "You're very funny, Finn. Miss Berry is what the kids at the music store call my mommy. You can call me Rowena."

He tapped his finger against her nose and accepted the hand that she held in his direction.

"My apologies. I'll try not to make that mistake again."

She pulled Finn into the apartment and shut the door behind him. "Mama!" She hollered loudly. "Where did you go?"

"Is everything ok?"

Rowena shrugged her shoulders. "I guess so. I was just talking to her when you knocked at the door and after I let you in she was gone. Maybe she went into the kitchen to get us some ice cream. That's what I hope she's doing."

The little girl was in the process of pulling him into the living room when Rachel appeared from the kitchen, unfortunately sans ice cream. "Hi," she said tentatively.

"Hi."

He sank onto the couch at Rowena's instruction and continued to stare at Rachel as her daughter climbed onto the cushion next to him. She crossed her ankles even though they barely hung off the edge of the cushion, and folded her hands in her lap. "So…what are we talking about?"

Finn beamed at her. Her precociousness was almost overwhelming. At that moment it was almost like he had two Rachel Berry's in the room with him and he loved it. Rowena was exactly what he imagined Rachel was like as a child and he found himself wondering what it would be like to live in a house surrounded by a bunch of miniature Rachel Berry's. He shook his head to dissolve his ridiculous thoughts and watched as Rachel sunk onto one of the recliners.

"Bumblebee, remember how we talked about how some conversations are only for adults? Well I think Finn and I need to have one of those conversations," Rachel explained.

The joy that had spread across Rowena's face instantly vanished. Finn wanted to ask Rachel if she'd ever considered signing her daughter up for acting classes because her ability to suddenly change her emotions was impressive.

"But Mommy! Finn _just_ got here and I wanted to talk with him since I didn't get to the last time he was here. I had a very important question that I wanted to ask him."

Rachel glanced at Finn out of the corner of her eye. He shrugged. "What did you want to ask him?"

Rowena turned her attention in his direction and locked her eyes on him. He was instantly captivated by her. Whatever this child wanted he was prepared to give to her. He wondered how Rachel was ever able to tell her 'no'.

"Finn, I must know how you grew to be so tall!" He bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. It was obvious how serious Rowena's question was. "You see, my mommy isn't very tall and I want to grow to be taller than her…maybe even taller than Poppy or Papa! I want to grow so tall that all the birds will fly around my head. I'm sure it will feel like flying!"

He smiled at Rachel (who was also trying to suppress a laugh) and looked at Rowena.

"Well I guess I can tell you but you have to promise to keep it a secret. Are you good at keeping secrets?"

She popped up onto her knees and leaned into Finn's arm and shoulder. "Oh yes! I'm wonderful at keeping secrets! But wait…" She eyed Rachel cautiously. "Mommy is here. Can she know the secret?"

Finn winked at Rachel. "I'm not sure. I better whisper it to you just in case." He leaned in and cupped his large hand around Rowena's ear. "I grew to be so tall because I always listened to my mother. Someone told me once that every time you tell your mother 'no' a centimeter is taken away from how tall you're supposed to grow."

Rowena's eyes grew wide and Finn grinned. This little girl wasn't the slightest bit gullible but she was still a child after all and it was refreshing to see that, no matter how mature she appeared, she still possessed a good deal of the childlike wonder that he'd always loved. It was like believing in Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy. It was endearing and magical.

She leapt up from the couch, ran to Rachel, and climbed onto her lap. She whispered into her mother's ear and then smiled and giggled in Finn's direction, her little legs kicking back and forth the whole time.

Rachel kissed Rowena's cheek and scooted her from her lap. "Why don't you go back to our room and I'll come in and put a movie on for you."

Rowena began to do a little dance that involved running in place and something that looked like jazz hands. She took off down the hallway and left them alone in the living room.

"You're really wonderful with her," Rachel said quietly. She looked down at her hands.

He smiled. "It's hard not to be with a kid like her. She's seriously awesome."

"Do you want to help me tuck her in? She'll be asleep five minutes after I start the movie. And besides…she's requested your presence."

Finn smiled. "Sure."

When they got to the room Rowena had already traded her ensemble for a pair of polka dot pajamas. She'd undid the braids in her hair and it now fell in wavy layers around her shoulders. She was snuggled under a pink down comforter and a stuffed Simba was cradled in the crook of her arm.

"What'll it be tonight, baby girl? A Star is Born? The Sound of Music?" Rachel continued to rattle off an impressive list of movie titles, most of which he'd never heard of before.

Rowena sat straight up in bed and looked decisively at her mother. "Yentl. Tonight I want to watch Yentl."

Rachel made a sour face and then shrugged. "Not my favorite Barbra film but acceptable, none the less. I expect to hear a rousing rendition of 'Papa Can You Hear Me' in the morning, Rowena Claire."

The child smiled softly and nodded her head. "I'm already practicing in my mind, Mama."

Rachel started the movie and then walked over to kiss her daughter goodnight. Finn stood in the doorway and watched the scene. He couldn't help but wish this was his normal routine. It seemed so natural to be putting Rowena to bed with Rachel and he hated that it wasn't his family…it wasn't his life.

Rachel walked over to where he stood and they both looked in Rowena's direction. She smiled at them happily and then asked if Finn was going to hug her goodnight as well. He glanced at Rachel for approval and when she nodded he walked towards the child. He sank down onto the mattress next to the little girl and smoothed his hand over her hair.

"Goodnight, little girl," he said gently. "And remember what I told you, ok. I want you to grow to be as many centimeters tall as you can. Have wonderful dreams tonight and make sure you see every single color when you close your eyes." He leaned over and pressed his lips against her hair.

When he sat back up he noticed the way Rowena stared up at him. It was the same way Rachel looked at him. It freaked him out.

He told Rowena goodnight one last time and then joined Rachel in the doorway. The opening score to the movie floated through the room as she shut the door, leaving them alone in the hallway.

"Why did you tell her to see all the colors when she closes her eyes? What does that mean?"

Finn smiled shyly. "Oh that? That's just something my mom used to say to me when I was little. She used to say that if you looked for the colors when you closed you eyes then they would fill your dreams. I always thought it was nice to think about when I fell asleep and I thought maybe she would like it too. Was it not ok? I'm sorry. I should've checked with you first."

Rachel shook her head and wiped her eyes. "No. It was perfect."

They stood in the hallway, awash in silence. He wished he could freeze time and somehow stay in that apartment with Rachel and Rowena forever. But then he reminded himself (again) that they weren't his to have. He was really bad at the whole focusing on reality thing.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" She asked as she made her way back towards the living room.

He shoved his hands in his pocket and followed her. "I…um…I heard from Sam this afternoon."

"Really? What about? We just saw him this morning."

He briefly explained what Sam and told him and when he got to the part about going to New York he reached for her hands, even though he wasn't supposed to.

"He wants me in New York as soon as I can be there…but I couldn't book my ticket…not without talking to you first."

"Why?"

Finn looked down at his shoes. "Because I want you to come with me…even though I shouldn't. I can't shake the fact that this is _our_ dream. I feel like I'm breaking some sort of promise by going without you. I know you're married and that you and I can't be together the way we should be but at least come with me. We can figure something out."

"Finn."

"I don't know what's going to happen at this meeting. Maybe the guy will hate it and I'll be on my way back to Lima as quickly as I left. Or maybe he'll love it and I'll never come back to Lima again. I don't know. I have no idea what the future holds and it scares the shit out of me, but I think I'd be less scared if you were with me. Maybe that sounds selfish but I want this more for you than I want it for myself. I haven't forgotten about your dreams and I need you to be happy, Rachel. I will do anything for that to happen."

"Finn."

He snapped back to reality and stopped rambling. He looked at her expectantly. "Will you come with me?"

Tears flowed from her eyes and she shook her head. "You know I can't."

He bobbed his head and sniffed. There was no way he was going to let her see him cry.

"I talked to my husband this afternoon. He's coming home in a few weeks. I don't know what's going to happen when he gets here but I have to be _here_ when he comes home. I know that the producer Sam set you up with is going to love the demo and he's going to love you. And Lima…well Lima will just have to learn how to go on without you."

It was what he'd expected her to say (well, not the husband part…everything else) but it still hurt. The bright start that had been guiding him towards his dream had suddenly faded, almost like it had been covered by clouds, and he felt very alone. For the first time it really hit him that he was going to have to do this by himself.

"Well I guess that's that then," he said quietly. "I guess I'll book my flight for tomorrow like Sam asked. I really don't have any reason to stay here any longer."

"I'm so sorry, Finn. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. I never expected to…"

"Expected to what?" He interrupted.

"You know I have feelings for you," she whispered. "And if my situation was different at all then it wouldn't be like this. Rowena and I would go with you in a heartbeat. But you have to understand…and even if you don't you have to know how _sorry_ I am. I know I've already told you a million times but I'll tell you a million more because there are no words for how horrible I feel right now and how horrible I'm going to feel for the unseen future."

He knew that and he appreciated it but he didn't know if anything was ever going to fill the gaping hole that had opened in his heart. But he'd done it before and he supposed he had to do it again. He would learn how to survive without her but nothing would ever make her go away completely, of that much he was certain.

"Will you come over tonight? After your dad's get home? I'm sure I'll be up late getting all my stuff together and I can't think of anyone else I'd rather spend my last night in Lima with."

She brushed away the last of her tears and nodded at him.

"Of course I will."

* * *

Five hours later he had his life packed into two big suitcases. Finn had pegged all his hopes on an opportunity a stranger was willing to give him, but even if Sam's contact told him 'thanks but no thanks' there was no way he could come back. There wasn't anything in Lima for him anymore.

He'd stayed awake until his eyes would no longer stay open. The exhaustion from the day had finally caught up with him and he was so completely drained. He laid down on his bed and let the tears come, the ones he'd been holding in the entire day.

He'd waited all night for her to come but as the hours passed he knew she wasn't going to.

It was his last night in Lima and the one person he'd wanted to see had let him down.

Rachel had stood him up.


	10. Chapter 10: Falling Slowly Reprise

a/n: I want to thank everyone who left me encouragement throughout the duration of my little story. I have appreciated every follower, read every review, and been humbled by those who have marked 'Once' as a favorite. You have continued to inspire me and I hope you'll all keep a lookout for my next fic, which should be ready to be published soon.

Thank you again. I really hope you enjoy the conclusion.

And, for a final time, I don't own 'Once' or 'Glee'. This is just for entertainment.

* * *

Chapter 10 - Falling Slowly (Reprise)

Rachel sat alone in the dark living room of her apartment. Her dad's had been home and asleep for hours but she still sat frozen on their tattered couch. She had shed so many tears that she was all cried out and she sat there with a pit the size of Texas in her stomach. She was _so_ sad and if she had any tears left she would have surely cried them.

She really had wanted to go to Finn's…to see him one last time before their happy bubble burst and they finally had to face reality. She'd known from the very start that there wasn't any way things could have ended differently than they were. The whole thing had begun with one goal in mind and she'd accomplished what she'd set out to do, but that didn't erase the way her heart ached.

She wasn't supposed to fall in-love with him…that had never been part of the plan. She had seen something in him the night he'd performed at Lima's seediest bar and all she'd wanted to do was convince him that he didn't need to give up music to solve his problems. She figured she'd been right on some level…Finn was happier now than he'd been when they'd met…but at the same time she realized that _she _had been a large part of his happiness. But he would be in New York soon and he was going to be _so _successful and soon he would forget all about her. Maybe he would even reconnect with the girl who'd left him so heartbroken in the first place.

But there was no way she would forget about him. Not easily at least. She was looking forward to her husband's impending visit because she wanted to know if there was anything left…anything at all that they could salvage. She wondered if there was any way at all that she could look at her husband and not think of Finn.

She shuffled down the hallway towards her room. She hoped that Rowena's presence would remind her why she was listening to her head and not her heart.

* * *

Finn packed as many as his belongings into his two large suitcases as they would hold. The words Rachel had spoken to him the night prior had stuck with him.

He wasn't coming back.

He didn't feel great about leaving Burt and the tire shop so high and dry but he couldn't continue to waste his time at the shop because he felt obligated. Burt had been generous enough to offer him a job and a place to stay when everything else in his life had fallen apart and he guessed that just leaving was sort of a shitty thing to do but what were his alternatives? Sam said this guy needed him in New York now. If he waited any longer then maybe that offer wouldn't still be on the table.

His flight wasn't until seven o'clock that night. He figured that gave him enough time to discuss his situation with Burt and make an attempt to see Rachel one final time before he needed to leave. It would take him a little over an hour to drive to Dayton which meant he had to be on the road by five at the absolute latest. As he ran through the laundry list of things he wanted to accomplish before he left he couldn't help but feel like it actually wasn't that much time at all. Other than seeing Rachel nothing else seemed to matter. Perhaps his nerves were getting the best of him but he suddenly felt flustered.

If only Rachel had come over the night before then maybe he would feel like he had a little more closure. She'd told him countless times that she couldn't go with him and that her husband was coming home and she had to try and figure things out. But when he really thought about it he couldn't even figure out exactly what that meant. He'd told her repeatedly that he had feelings for her and she'd even admitted that she had them back, but did she love him?

In hindsight she'd been right. If she had shown up when he'd asked her to he would have wanted to show he how much he loved her and he couldn't do that…he wouldn't…not as long as she was married. But he couldn't wait around to see what she was going to do. For all he knew she would look at her husband and all their memories would bring their relationship back to life. He would be even more devastated than he already was if he waited around for her only for it to end in disappointment.

He zipped up his navy blue suitcase and stood it at the end of his bed. That was it. Whatever he wasn't able to stuff in the suitcases he would have to buy or learn how to live without. Deciding to leave his apartment for the time being, he checked the clock and headed downstairs to the shop. It was nearly eight and Burt would be arriving shortly to begin his day.

Finn jogged down the stairs into the garage. Burt was already dressed in his coveralls and a worn baseball cap. He was leaned over the hood of their Chrysler and tinkered with something, his hands and arms covered in grease. There was an instantaneous sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Lately he'd been so focused on Rachel and their music that he'd lost sight of a lot of the other things that had occupied time. He was really going to miss restoring the old car with Burt. It had been a bonding activity for them and he was sorry that he would be there to hear the engine the first time they start it up.

Burt looked up from the car and made a face in Finn's direction. He can tell he's wondering why he's wearing jeans, a thermal, and sneakers and not his usual work pants and jacket. "Have a doctor's appointment or something today?"

Finn scuffed his shoe against the concrete floor. "I…um…I made a decision last night."

Burt loudly chewed on his gum and leaned against the car. "Oh yeah? What about."

He found that the story of how he met Rachel poured out as he told his stepfather the basics of what his past week had consisted of. He left out the parts about how he had fallen in-love with her but made sure to emphasize how much potential both Sam and his contact in New York thought he possessed. He figured if he could make Burt see that this was an actual, legitimate shot that maybe he would be more understanding of the fact that Finn was basically just walking out on him.

"You really made a CD? Like a real CD not just something you recorded in your closet?" Burt wiped his hands on a rag and placed them on his hips.

Finn pulled a copy of the demo out of his back pocket. "It's a real CD. Rachel helped me get a loan from the bank and then we rented studio time to record it. We had a real sound engineer help us and everything. I mean, it's not something you're going to go to the store and buy but it's about as legit as you can get at this stage…especially by Lima standards."

Burt accepted the CD and bobbed his head. "So what happens if you get to New York and this guy doesn't like it at all?"

"He's already heard it."

"What if you run out of money? I know what I pay you to work here and while it's acceptable in Lima it's not going to last you very long in Manhattan."

"Then I'll find a job. I'll find another garage to work in or I'll wait tables if I have to. This is going to work, Burt. I don't have any other options. I have to do this for me so she can see that she didn't waste her time on me. She believed in me more than anyone else ever has and while things aren't really working out the way I'd hoped they would I can't let her down. I won't let her down."

"Rachel's not going with you?"

Finn shook his head and tried his hardest not to let Burt see the sadness in his eyes. "No."

They were both silent for a long moment. Neither one of them was really sure how to proceed and the prolonged silence was growing awkward.

"I'm really sorry to just leave like this, Burt, but I can't do this anymore. I've sat around and watched everyone I grew up with go off and live their lives while I just never seemed to figure out what it was that I actually wanted. Then I met Rachel and she heard my music and she convinced me that I was actually _good_ and then everything just sort of fell into place. This is my chance. I can feel it."

Burt placed his hand against Finn's shoulder. "You should always follow your dreams, Finn. What kind of father would I be if I tried to hold you back just because you're a decent, reliable worker in my garage? It's winter and things are slow. I should be able to get by ok by myself for now and when the weather begins to thaw I'm sure I'll find someone to take your place." He pulled his stepson in for a hug. "There will always be a place here for you, Finn. I hope you know that."

Finn nodded against Burt's shoulder. He didn't know what he'd done to deserve just decent, caring people in his life but he promised himself that he would never take it for granted.

"I have a couple things I need to do before I leave for the airport," Finn said quickly. He needed to get out of there before Burt noticed the tears in his eyes.

"Oh…sure. Of course you do. Tell you what…I'm going to play this CD over the speakers while I work so I can see if you're as good as you think you are. Because you know I'll tell you if I think you suck."

Finn grimaced and smoothed his hand against his hair. "Yeah I know."

"Get out of here. We'll see you before you leave."

Finn hurried back up the stairs to his apartment and grabbed his jacket before he hurried off towards Ravine Street. It was time to see Rachel one last time before his whole life would change forever.

* * *

Finn ran the distance to Rachel's street in record time. His feet carried him on his own accord. He didn't feel the wicked January wind against his face or feel the slippery sidewalks underneath his shoes. All he could think about was that his time with Rachel had a ticking time bomb over it and there was such a short amount of time left before everything he'd grown accustomed to would simply end. He had to see her…just one last time. He wanted to memorize her face so that when he closed his eyes in New York he could still imagine her sparkling eyes and contagious smile. He didn't want to forget the way she looked at him or the way she made him feel. He realized that time would make him forget a lot of those things but he wanted to hold on for as long as possible.

Once inside her building he climbed the stairs two at a time. The higher he climbed the greater the ache in his heart grew. Even though he was curious about going to New York and discovering whatever was in store for him, he didn't want to leave the world he'd created with Rachel. He was so much happier now than he'd been in a long time and on some level he wished he could've bottled the feeling he'd had when they'd put Rowena to bed the night prior. His heart had felt so full…so happy…and now that he was leaving them behind he noticed that he had begun to feel empty.

Shaking the feeling, he jogged the last couple stairs to the apartment and rapped his fist against the door. He shifted his weight back and forth while he waited for Rachel to answer the door. As disappointed as he was that she hadn't come over last night he didn't want to argue with her. This was the last time he was going to see her for probably a pretty long time and he didn't want to spend what little time they had fighting. He wanted to hold her one last time and tell her thank you. It was so important to him that she understood just how much she meant to him.

After a few more seconds the door swung open. The smile he'd plastered across his face disappeared when he came face to face with Rachel's father, LeRoy.

"Finn," he said curtly. "What are you doing here."

"Is Rachel home?"

LeRoy shook his head. "I'm sorry, son, but she's not. Can I take a message?"

Finn rubbed a hand over his eyes. "Will she be home soon? Can I come in and wait for her?"

Her father stepped into the hallway and shut the apartment door behind him. "I don't know when she's going to be back. She left early this morning and didn't give me many details." LeRoy looked Finn directly in the eye. "I know the two of you have something between you but you know it's not a good idea to act on whatever that is."

Finn nodded in agreement. Sure, he thought Rachel's dad was acting a little out of line by being so vocal in regard to his daughter's personal life, but at that same time he was right. "I'm leaving this afternoon for New York City and I just wanted to tell her goodbye before I left."

LeRoy patted Finn on the shoulder. "I'm sorry she's not here. I'm sure she would have wanted to say goodbye."

His heart burned in his chest. She obviously didn't want to say goodbye to him. She'd purposely not come to his apartment when she'd said she would and then she'd made herself scarce when she knew he'd tried to see her again. He wanted to sink down onto the ground and just disappear. He'd accepted the fact that she wasn't going to come with him and that this was pretty much going to be it, but he had wanted to say goodbye.

He wanted to be mad at her even more so than he'd wanted to be on his way over to her apartment. She'd vanished from his life as quickly as she'd entered it and he wished he could go back and do it all over again…slow time down somehow. He hung his head and accepted what he'd once thought was impossible. Rachel was gone… in every way possible.

He turned away and began to walk back down the stairs.

Finn paused on the stairwell and turned back around to face LeRoy.

"Mr. Berry, when Rachel comes home could you please just tell her that I'm so grateful that she came into my life. I don't think there is anything I could ever do to repay her for what she's given to me. Please tell her I'll miss her." He wanted to tell him to tell Rachel that he loved her but for some reason he didn't think that message would be properly passed.

LeRoy nodded curtly. "I'll pass the message."

"Goodbye, sir."

Mustering every ounce of strength he had left he jogged down the stairs and back onto Ravine Street. He hurried down the street as fast as he could. At that moment he wanted to put as much space between himself and Rachel Berry as possible.

* * *

Inside the apartment Rachel sat, curled into a ball, on the couch. She had her fist jammed into her mouth to keep her from calling out to him. She hated that she could hear the longing in Finn's voice and she wanted to go to him, just one last time, but she knew she couldn't. If she did that it would help anything. It would only make things twenty times harder than they were already.

Her father opened the door to the apartment and stepped back inside. She dropped her hand from her mouth and let her anguish come out in audible sobs.

"You did the right thing, Cupcake," her daddy placed his hand against her shoulder.

Rachel scowled at him. At that moment she didn't want to be praised for her behavior. She knew she'd made the correct decision but that didn't mean it hurt any less.

She'd let Finn go. She had a lot of things she needed to figure out and only time would tell if she would ever see him again.

* * *

Finn sat at the kitchen table in his parents' house. Burt and Carole were on one side of the table and he sat across from them, his hands folded against the hardwood tabletop. There was an old boom box on the table in-between them and his CD played through the kitchen. He thought it was odd to hear his recorded voice bouncing around in the same room where he'd eaten cereal as a teenager.

They all sat in relative silence. Finn attempted to focus on the sound of his guitar and vocals and tried his hardest not to notice the way the sound of Rachel's voice tugged at his heart or how her piano perfectly accompanied his own instrument. He was going to have to get over the affect she had on him. She featured prominently in his demo (obviously) so that was going to have to be something he got used to since he would most likely be hearing a lot of the demo in the near future. Until he found someone who wanted to record a solo demo of him then this was the only demo he had to work with.

The song ended and he reached over and pushed the button to pause the CD. He looked over at his mother to discover she had tears in her eyes. "Oh, Finn…"

He didn't like when she cried. For some reason it always made him feel guilty, like he'd done something wrong or something.

"Baby, I had no idea you were so talented! This song is gorgeous."

He let the fact that she'd called him 'baby' slide and instead shot a smile in her direction. His mother had always known he sang but he'd never really allowed her to see just how much music was a part of him. He was certain she had no idea that he wrote music or played the guitar as well as he did. He beamed with pride at his mother's praise.

"I can't say I'm thrilled that you're leaving. I've always had you around and not being able to see you all the time is going to take some getting used to. But you have so much talent, Finn, and it would be a shame to not let the world hear what you have to offer. It's worth a shot, right? You're never going to know unless you try and you know you'll always have a place here to come home to."

His heart squeezed. For the very first time someone other than Rachel seemingly believed in him and what he was doing. It gave him a newfound sense of confidence to know he had at least some sort of support system. He had prepared to go to New York and carry the burden of starting over on his own shoulders. It was reassuring to know that he had his parents behind him.

"I'm impressed with your dedication, son," Burt said with a small smile. "I'm going to miss you around the shop and just in general, but we support what you're doing."

He slid an envelope across the table in Finn's direction. He picked it up and peeked inside. It was a check. "I…I can't accept this."

His mother covered his hand with her own. "You can and you will. We believe in you, Finn. This is just to help you get started."

As he held that envelope in his hands something changed. At that moment, once he realized that his parents were fully backing what he was about to do, he let Rachel go. He wasn't going to miss her. He wasn't going to sit around and wonder if she had broken things off with her husband. He would care for her always, but he wasn't going to spend his future focusing so much on his past.

For a moment his ex-girlfriend crossed his mind…the person who had the power to turn his whole world upside down when she'd cheated on him and then just up and left. He remembered how he'd only been like a shell of himself until he'd met Rachel. She'd changed him…made him stronger…and he wasn't going to go back to how things were before. He wouldn't. He'd said from the beginning that this was as much Rachel's dream as it was his. He realized now that Rachel's dream had been for him to succeed and there was no way he was going to let her down.

He looked down at the envelope and then back up at his parents. His mother had tears in her eyes and even Burt looked slightly emotional. "Well I guess this is it. It's time to go."

As he stood and hugged them both goodbye Rachel's face flashed in his memory. It really was true what they said about people coming into your life for a reason. He usually hated clichés, but as he reflected on his time with Rachel he couldn't think of anything more truthful. She had changed him forever, made him better than he was before, and for that he would be forever grateful.

* * *

(6 months later)

Rachel struggled to climb the stairs to her apartment. She was holding three bags of groceries and balanced her cell phone between her shoulder and ear. Rowena's seventh birthday was only a week away and preparations were well under way. After a long day of lessons she was ready to just relax on the couch and listen to her daughter's detailed plans for her birthday cake. The closer they got to her little girl's birthday the more ridiculous her requests had grown.

As she neared the apartment the stairwell was flooded with the tinkling sound that undeniably came from a piano. She still spent countless hours behind Will's trusty old spinet and she would recognize that sound anywhere. Curious, she walked the steps a little quicker. She excused herself from her phone call with Santana and when she reached the landing outside her apartment she pressed her cheek against the door. It was coming from inside.

She dropped her groceries on the floor and fumbled with her keys. She swung open the door to reveal a spinet piano in her living room, not that much unlike the one she played at Schuester Music, albeit this piano was brand new (and shiny). She left her groceries in the hallway and walked into the room. A piano. In her house. It was like the one thing she'd wanted most had come to fruition. But how? She'd asked her dad's for a piano since she was old enough to speak and they'd always told her it was too expensive and much too difficult to get up the stairs. But nonetheless there it stood.

But if her dad's hadn't bought the piano then…

Rachel walked towards the tinkling and watched as Rowena sat delicately perched on the equally shiny piano bench. She pressed her tiny fingers against the keys as her legs swung back and forth, not yet long enough to reach the pedal. The familiar strands of 'Heart and Soul' filled the living room and she smiled at the familiarity. There was only one other person in the world who knew her love of the piano and how badly she'd always wanted to own one.

"Rowena, where did the piano come from?"

Her little girl shrugged and continued to pluck out the song. "I don't know. I came home from school and it was just here. There was a note and I wanted to open it but Pappy said no…you were the only one allowed to do it."

There was a large, red ribbon that sat on top of the piano and to the right was a small envelope. She pulled out a CD and a card and a big smile spread across her face as she read.

_We did it, Rach  
__- Finn_


End file.
